A Reason to Live
by VixenOfTheWolves
Summary: Hiei's in love with Yusuke but he doesn't believe there can ever be a happy ending for a Forbidden Child and attempts suicide. Will Yusuke realise his true feelings before it's too late? Or will the two be forever separated by death? Full summary inside.
1. Prologue: The Darkness Within the Shadow

Agh! Damnit! My sister and I got into a fight and I went for a walk to cool down but left my edit story page up and in spite she bloody deleted it! GAH!

Well obviously I've had to re-post this story thanks to my sister who I am now ridiculously pissed at.

Anyway this time it will only contain the new revised version, in other words I will not be putting up the original draft in a separate chapter like I did last time. So this story is now "in-progress" being properly transformed from very long one-shot to even longer chapter story.

Sorry about the inconvenience that having to re-post this may cause. Ugh.

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Warning: Contains occasional mild coarse language, mild violence/gore, suicide and boyXboy love.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Though heavens knows I wish I did.

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Anyway as promised, the full summary:

Hiei has always been an outcast, a reject, never considered good enough. He himself shared those views even if none of his friends knew that. So when his feelings for Yusuke become too much to bear he attempts suicide. He never planned on Yusuke and Kuwabara being there to witness his actions. Will he survive? If he does, will Yusuke be able to realise his feelings for the fire demon before it's too late? Read on to find out.

Better than the summary sounds I promise.

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Darkness in the Shadow

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It was a most beautiful night; the young raven haired man couldn't help but notice as he knelt among a field of flowers in a quiet park. The stars could just be sighted through the pollution of light, and the full moon, abnormally large, shone brightly, covering the field in an ethereal light. The nearby lake was still and showed a perfect mirror image of the dark sky above. The flowers around the young man were open their creamy vanilla petals greedily soaking up the light of the moon as if it were the same light that had shone on them earlier that day. The young man's eyes had closed and he was breathing in the fresh air with a rueful look on his face. Dark lashes fluttered against pale skin as a comfortably cool breeze flowed across his face. His eyelashes removed themselves regretfully from his cheeks - a parting farewell til they would meet again, - to reveal incredible almond shaped ruby eyes, shining with the reflection of the moon above.

Hiei sighed, his scarlet eyes sliding shut, reuniting lashes and cheeks once more. A sad aura emanated from the normally stoic fire demon. Hiei allowed his metaphorical mask to fall with relief. He knew there was no chance of anyone bothering him here at this time of night. He was almost surprised by the emotions that greeted him. Loneliness, sadness, longing…He thought he had left them behind a long time ago.

"I guess I was wrong…" Hiei whispered. "But then…When aren't I?"

A small sad smile spread across his face, smoothing his normally harsh expression.

"I was never good enough…I was never good enough to be their team mate, their friend…If I can't even have that then how can I ever expect to have his love?…A Forbidden Child just isn't meant to belong…Just isn't meant to _be_…"

Hiei's eyes fell shut the same moment another woeful sigh escaped his parted lips. A pale hand reached down to his belt, closing around the hilt of the katana there with familiarity. The sword came free from its sheath with a deathly silent hiss. Crimson eyes opened to stare in admiration at the silver blade glinting in the moonlight. The raven haired demon allowed the blade to slide along his palm as he turned it, the metal biting into his calloused skin. Hiei stared at the blood dripping down his weapon with morbid fascination.

"This sword…I've taken so many lives with this sword. Its blade has been stained by the blood of countless demons…But it won't shed any more blood after tonight…" The fire demon faltered before smiling slightly.

"All my life I've pushed people away. Friends, family and foe alike. But _they_ refuse to see. They don't see that I'm nothing more than a Forbidden Child. A disgusting monster deserving nothing more than an eternity in Hell! I have no right to want their friendship, his love…I have no right to pull them down to my level. After tonight they'll see…I won't weigh them down any longer…"

Hiei brought his left hand up to meet its twin on the blade under the hilt of his katana, the point aimed directly at his leanly muscled torso. A strong gust of wind tore through the park and Hiei almost swore he heard someone call his name. A small chuckle escaped him at the thought, so ridiculous it was. For no one was coming to save him from the darkness that had built up inside him over the years… '_No one_…'

Without even flinching Hiei pulled the blade down towards himself, the cold metal slicing into his palms once more. The blade slid through his chest with ease and within seconds he felt his hands and hilt pressing his black tank against his already blood-slicked skin. Hiei let his bloodied hands slip from the weapon. A wave of dizziness passed over him and he swayed precariously, his limbs rapidly becoming heavy and leaden.

A short burst of hysterical laughter bubbled from the raven haired man's lips forcing blood from his mouth to flow down his chin.

"Funny…I didn't think death would come _this_ quickly…" He gurgled before he fell forwards, his body hitting the ground with a thud.

...

_Send away for a priceless gift  
One not subtle, one not on the list  
Send away for a perfect world  
One not simply so absurd  
In these times of doing what you're told  
Keep these feelings, no one knows…_

_What ever happened to the young man's heart?  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart!_

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45.

Send a message to the unborn child  
Keep your eyes open for a while  
In a box high up on the shelf 

_Left for you, no one else  
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life  
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight._

What ever happened to the young man's heart?  
Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart!

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45-!

Everyone's pointing their fingers  
Always condemning me-!  
And nobody knows what I believe-  
I believe-!

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45_

_And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life_

_There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed_

_Staring down the barrel of a 45-!_

_45-! _

_(Staring down the barrel of a 45-!) - 45 by Shinedown_

..._  
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Okay the prologue is back up. I'll probably put the other chapters up at least one every week so that way I can keep some sort of deadline for myself. That and so people can have some sort of timeline as to when I SHOULD be updating.

Okay please read and review! Especially read and review. I would appreciate it! ^^


	2. Chapter 1: Blood Stains the Pale

Hey again everyone! This is the first chapter (cause the last one was the prologue) of A Reason to Live! I was originally going to put it up tomorrow but decided instead to do it today.

Before we go any further I'd like to thank _Natsume-chan_ for reviewing the prologue...That's it. If I get enough reviews for this chapter then I will update by Wednesday or Thursday. If not then I probably won't put up the next chapter until the weekend. Haha now I'm blackmailing you. Lol joking, but seriously it would be much appreciated if you review because that just fuels my drive to write.

Anyways on with the story...

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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Warnings: This chapter contains mild violence and dark themes (suicide).

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_Chapter 1: Blood Stains the Pale_

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"You headin' home?" The raven haired man asked, turning his chocolate eyes to the shorter of his companions.

The long, red haired man nodded. "Yes, I have an early appointment tomorrow." He said, his soft voice barely distinguishable over the racquet of the bar.

"Okay, we'll see ya' next week Kurama. Your place this time right?" The taller red head asked in his rough voice as the three of them slowly made their way out of the rowdy tavern.

"Indeed it is, Kuwabara. I trust the two of you will remember to bring the drinks?" The fox demon, Kurama, inquired, his emerald eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Of course! You don't really think we'd forget do you?" The dark haired member of the group replied incredulously. Kurama raised a thin elegant brow at his friend.

"Oh c'mon! Since when have I ever forgotten anything? I have a memory like a goldfish!" The youth boasted, a smug look on his tan face as the three came to a stop on the footpath just outside the building. However his expression quickly became one of confusion as the two red heads flanking him started laughing.

"Actually Yusuke, the correct phrase you're looking for is, 'I have a memory like an elephant'." Kurama managed between his giggles.

"…Oh yeah, I forgot…" Yusuke mumbled to himself causing his more feminine teammate to let out a rather undignified snort.

"Though your way of putting it seems to be very appropriate for you." The long haired man commented haughtily.

"Thank -Hey wait!" Yusuke yelled angrily just as his two friends once more burst into uncontrollable laughter. He glared at Kurama before he turned away and stalked off down the street, grumbling to himself about 'annoying foxes'. Behind him Kuwabara and Kurama, still laughing, said goodbye before parting ways, Kuwabara turning to run after the grumpy hanyou.

The fox demon chuckled as he started walking towards home thinking that tonight had been a good night.

...

"Hahaha! You should have seen the look on your face! Oh man!" The raven haired man laughed several blocks later.

His red headed companion floundered. "Yeah…Well…SHUT IT URAMESHI!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara bickered loudly, their raucous laughter echoing through the empty streets as they walked. Even though their friend had left for home twenty minutes ago the two had decided to go for a walk. It was peaceful and that was something both appreciated after all the trouble and violence they had gone through in their short lives.

After several more minutes of hysterical laughing, Yusuke's exuberance dimmed with a soft sigh. Kuwabara immediately noticed his friend and rival's sudden change in attitude.

"What's wrong Urameshi?" He asked, his rough voice laced with concern.

Yusuke looked over at his best friend before sighing once more, his chocolate gaze turning to stare almost helplessly at the heavens.

"It's nothing really. I was just wondering where Hiei was. It's a little disconcerting that even Kurama couldn't find him, especially after how weird he's been acting since he came back."

"Wow, can you even spell that?" The red head asked incredulously.

"Shut up! I'm not _that_ dumb!"

Kuwabara cast a glance at the raven haired man beside him, judging his expression carefully.

"Heh, so the shrimp doesn't want to hang with us, so what? His loss, not ours."

"Guess you're right. I just can't shake the feeling that something's wrong…"

Kuwabara nodded, silently agreeing with the hanyou. There _was_ something wrong and the feeling was only accentuated by the sickly stench of that death hung in the air, carried by the seemingly innocent breeze.

A strong, gust of wind blew through the area sending a strange chill down their backs. The two boys tensed, sensing trouble they instinctively shifted into defensive positions.

"Did you feel that?" Yusuke murmured to the red head beside him, his eyes flickering around the empty street.

"Yeah…" Kuwabara replied.

"Something's _very_ wrong…" Yusuke whispered. "C'mon we have to go!"

The spirit detective sprinted down the street, lead by nothing more than a sixth sense and his demonic and spiritual instincts.

"Hey! Wait up Urameshi!" Kuwabara yelled, scrambling after his friend. As the two ran through the scarcely populated streets the human couldn't help shake the terrible thoughts that invaded his head.

'_I don't like this feeling Urameshi_…_It feels like_ _death_…'

After ten minutes of running the two finally reached a small park on the outskirts of the city.

Panting quietly, Yusuke slowed. His fierce chocolate eyes scanned the moonlit scene, missing nothing.

The grassy field was carpeted thickly in hundreds of pale flowers, their petals opened wide to absorb the unusually bright light of the full moon.

At first glance the park appeared deserted and, dare he think it, peaceful. But the terrible feeling of '_wrongness'_ seemed to press in on them stronger and more desperate with every passing minute.

The two men walked warily through the area, their trained eyes searching every shadow thoroughly for any sign of trouble. Finally climbing a small hill the dark haired hanyou caught sight of something black kneeling among the field of flowers.

He silently signaled Kuwabara and slowly they crept closer, coming to hide out of sight just on top of the rise. Their eyes widened in shock at what they saw and Yusuke's breath caught in his throat.

'_Hiei_…' The name echoed almost mockingly through his mind. Indeed, there among the sea of vanilla was the mysterious fire demon. The shorter man looked hauntingly beautiful. His pale skin and ruby eyes seemed to glow under the ethereal rays that shone down and his face, relaxed and peaceful, was so very different to the harsh expressions he usually wore.

'_I've never seen him look so_…_normal_.' The spirit detective couldn't help but think.

Yusuke stared in wonder as full, pink lips moved sensually around the words the demon spoke, his almond shaped eyes filled with a fragile sadness he had never seen on the man before. Yusuke strained to hear what was being said but it was far too soft.

However he clearly heard the ominous '_shhhiiink_' of Hiei's sword as the demon pulled the weapon from its sheath. The raven haired hanyou stared wide eyed, as the blade ran smoothly across a pale hand, leaving a trail of crimson welling in its wake. He could only watch in fascinated horror as blood glinted on the silver sword, dripping from its hilt and onto a blossom below, staining its pure white scarlet.

Kuwabara stared at the scene in front of them, pain in his grey eyes.

"I don't like where this is going…" The red head murmured roughly.

Yusuke silently agreed, but was too shocked to move. He could only sit there and watch as Hiei pulled his left hand up to join its partner on the metal under the hilt of the deadly blade. A blade Yusuke knew had taken many demons' lives. And it scared the spirit detective to think that it would take but _one_ more tonight.

The swords tip came to rest lightly against its wielder's abdomen.

Another freak gust of wind blew angrily through the park and Yusuke finally broke out of his shock. A surprisingly desperate scream ripped itself from the hanyou's throat.

"_HIEI!_"

Before he even knew what he was doing, the young man was flying down the slope towards the fire demon.

Chocolate eyes watched as if in slow motion as the sword moved forward painfully slow. The tip of the blade moved easily though cloth and skin, blood spurting from the wound.

Yusuke let out another agonized cry as the metal disappeared further into the small body only to rip out the other side, stained red with blood and gore. Tears blurred his vision as Hiei swayed unsteadily, blood dripped down the demon's pale chin.

Yusuke dropped to his knees besides the shorter male not even seconds after he collapsed. With shaky hands the raven haired teen pulled his fallen comrade's startlingly light body into his arms.

Yusuke had never felt so cold in his life. He trembled uncontrollably, his tears slipping free to burn a blazing trail down his frozen cheeks.

"Yenma please…_Please_ don't do this…" He whispered frantically as he gently tried to wake the unconscious fire demon, unaware of the tears that slid from his face.

Hiei could feel himself falling into the blissful oblivion of death when something hot and wet hit his cheek. 'What…?'

Yusuke sobbed in relief when he saw Hiei's dark lashes flutter upwards, revealing dulled rubies.

"_Yu_…_Yus_…_ke_..?" Hiei's voice came out soft and quiet, nothing like his usual baritone. Yusuke tried and failed to stem his hysterical cries.

Hiei smiled softly, a look that the detective would have loved to see in any other circumstance.

"_I_…_I_…_I_…"

Yusuke felt more tears slide over the lids of his eyes, burning down his face at his friends obvious difficulty speaking, a sign of his failing health.

"Don't speak Hiei…Save your strength." It was Kuwabara who spoke this time. But Hiei couldn't hear him; he had already slipped again into unconsciousness.

Yusuke felt a weight drop into his stomach, slowly spreading numbness through his over stimulated system. He barely registered it when Kuwabara placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"We have to get him to the hospital." He said sadly.

The dark haired man nodded dumbly. Looking at the broken form that lay weightlessly in his arms he couldn't help the dark thoughts that whispered through his mind. Cold, compassionless voices that told him that he was too late, that any attempts to save his fiery tempered friend were pointless.

Angrily he shook the thoughts away and, ignoring his shocked body's protests, stood.

"C'mon." He whispered harshly to his conscious companion, the two of them sprinting into the city's streets once more, racing to get their teammate to the hospital in time.

...

'_The time is close now, the end is near_

_My walk through the valley, trails of fear_

_I feel empty, my penance is overdue_

_I guess it's too late now, to be with you._

_I'm extremely frightened of what will surely be_

_I sold myself, the death of me_

_I know you can't forgive me_

_I know I'm on my own_

_I know that I've betrayed you_

_I walk alone._

_What exactly is the meaning of this_

_Just pawns in your twisted game_

_Severe pain for the lie I'm living_

_For a love I never could betray._

_(Question me not say the Lord onto thee_

_You have chosen your own fate_

_And your own destiny._

_Denied of this life, is what you are to be_

_You have chosen your own fate_

_And your own destiny.)_

_Lord I pound my fists at you_

_Won't you just let me die?_

_Would I not suffer enough?_

_No inner peace, no afterlife._

_(Question me not say the Lord onto thee_

_You have chosen your own fate_

_And your own destiny._

_Denied of this life, is what you are to be_

_You have chosen your own fate_

_And your own destiny.)_

_I did what I thought was right_

_All for the love of my life_

_I know it's sad but true._

_Something is very wrong_

_Condemned to suffer so long_

_For a love so true…_

_The question that lies within_

_Is hard to understand_

_It still tears at me._

_And in my dying breath_

_My heart holds no regrets_

_I wouldn't change a thing._

_My spirit begins to rise into the heavenly skies_

_Just to be shunned away by you._

_Now all I want is to die, no streets of gold in the sky_

_And I wash my hands of you!_

_(Rising to the heaven's light_

_Just to plea for death_

_Just to be denied.)'_

_A Question of Heaven by Iced Earth._

_...  
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_And there it is. The next few chapters will me MUCH longer. I actually had to split what was originally going to be the next chappie into two because it was simply too long. I've planned it out and there will be eight chapters in total, not including the prologue.

And I will be placing the lyrics to a song at the end of each chapter. THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC. I am simply putting in songs that I feel suit the content of the chapter. I like it when other people do this because it allows me to expand my musical repertoire_._

Please read and please, please, please review. Remember; reviews are the energy drink the update hamster in my head's wheel needs to go faster!_ =)  
_


	3. Chapter 2: When the Devil Holds Your Ace

Hello again...Readers. Despite very few reviews I just can't stand not updating this story when I'm as far ahead in the writing as I am. I'm writing chapter six right now and this is technically chapter 2 so yeah...Big difference. I actually had to watch a few YYH episodes and take NOTES! Yeah NOTES for chapter 6. My poor finger is dead from writing pages and pages of dialect. But you'll find out more when that chappie comes along won't you. ^^"

It also occurred to me lately that I'm horribly mean to these characters lol. In _Third Time's the Charm_ Yusuke dies, in_ Peace Must Always Come to an End_ Hiei get's kidnapped and in this one Hiei tries to kill himself...Hmmm...I'm so mean...T.T

And if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes then I'm sorry. Word is a total bitch. I wrote in another chapter "he tried to find his belongings" and word wanted to change it to "he tried to find him belongings"... Yeah...How bad is that?

Anyway, enough of my babbling. I want to thank _Sinistera of the Akatsuki _and _Natsume-chan _(again yay!) for reviewing the last chapter. Hugs all around! And life size Yusuke and Hiei plushies!

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Disclaimer: ...I tire of having to say these words...I die a little every time...No I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Warnings: This chapter contains very slight amounts of coarse language.

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_Chapter 2: When the Devil Holds Your Aces_

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The dark haired young man gathered the scarily lifeless fire demon into his trembling arms and stood, an indescribable expression settling firmly on his face, his mind carefully blank.

"_C'mon_." He whispered harshly to the red head behind him. Kuwabara started at his friend's cruel tone but had no time to form a reply for the other man ran off without waiting. The human scrambled after the hanyou as fast as he could but it was a hopeless endeavor. Yusuke practically flew across the ground, running as though the Devil himself was on his heels.

As he sprinted towards their destination, Kuwabara couldn't help but think how scarily true that might be…

* * *

Yusuke's sneakers thudded heavily against the small dirt path that ran through the park, winding its way around the trees and flowered fields. But the beauty of the night was now the last thing on the hanyou's mind.

Ten minutes later Yusuke was still running. His breath came in short gasps and his legs burned like hellfire but he never once faulted. He couldn't afford to slow down, the price of comfort far too high. He kept running. Maybe it was his imagination but Yusuke swore he could almost feel the sands of life and time slipping away from him, from Hiei. And it _scared_ him.

More than anything else ever had...

_Finally! _Yusuke thought as the hospital came into view. The raven haired man pushed himself to go faster, not even stopping for the ambulance that drove into the hospital vehicle only zone outside of the emergency entrance. Instead he ran blindly in front of the ambulance, ignoring the obnoxious honking of car horns and the angry shouts that followed him as he burst through the doors and into the emergency room.

All occupants in the emergency room looked up at the loud _BANG_ and came to a complete standstill, staring in shock at the sweaty and disheveled youth that stood panting in the entryway.

Yusuke glanced around desperately, his chocolate eyes finally landing on the middle-aged nurse behind the paper littered counter. Without hesitation he strode towards her.

* * *

The nurse behind the desk, Beccy May, had been innocently sorting paperwork and medical reports when the jarringly loud _BANG_ of the door disrupted her. Like everyone else in the room her head had instantly whipped towards the source of the noise. The brunette had stared in surprise at the unruly young man now standing there, trembling with exhaustion and gasping for breath. She watched as his wild brown eyes found her own grey orbs and he jogged over to her. The first thing that went through her head was that there was a crazy man in the hospital and he was going to kill her. An irrational thought she discarded the second he came to a halt before her. He looked down at her, his face constantly shifting, almost as if he couldn't decide which emotion to settle on. In what she had thought less than a minute ago were wild, desperate eyes, she could now see fear and hurt.

"_Please_…" He whispered, voice cracking with overwhelming emotion. "You have to help him…"

Beccy May was instantly filled with confusion.

"Help who?" She asked concerned.

She saw the youth hesitantly shift his arms away from his body. How was it, she wondered as she stared in horror, that she hadn't seen the second young man, covered in blood and deathly pale, held possessively in the grasp of the obviously taller male?

The nurse quickly shook away the paralyzing revulsion that had gripped her and jumped to her feet.

"_HELP_!" Beccy May shouted. "_WE NEED A STRETCHER IN HERE STAT_!"

_

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_

Everything after that was a blur for Yusuke. Doctors in pastel green scrubs had run in and immediately taken the limp fire demon from the hanyou, transferring him onto the stretcher and whisking him off down the hall. Of course Kuwabara chose this exact moment to come crashing through the door, gasping desperately for air. Once the lanky youth had been filled in the nurse who had called for the doctors gently directed the two boys to a seat in a quiet waiting room a little ways off from the emergency room where they had entered. She briefly disappeared before returning with a bottle of water and a small chocolate bar for each of them, advising them to sit there and try to relax while they waited on news of their friend. Yusuke had quietly downed the liquid and sugary snack, forcing them to his dry mouth with trembling hands.

Gradually Yusuke began to calm down, his shaking subsiding and his panic receding enough to allow exhaustion to overcome him. But as he fell into unconsciousness his sleep was far from restful.

As Yusuke came to an hour or so later he was instantly assaulted by the smell of disinfectant and an almost tangible silence. The hanyou wrinkled his nose in disgust. Lazily the youth shifted, sitting up and stretching, his muscles screaming in protest. Finally he shook his head of the last remnants of sleep and blearily opened his eyes. Chocolate orbs gazed around the dimly lit white room in confusion.

_A hospital…_ Yusuke thought, confused. _Why am I in the hospital?_

Suddenly the memories of earlier that night came flooding back. The boys' night out, the park, Hiei…

_Hiei!_

The detective spun around in his seat so fast that he fell off, hitting the ground with a light _thump_. A slight scrambling reached his ears a few seconds before he felt a pair of hands helping him up.

"Urameshi, man are you alright? Just about scared the shit outta me." Kuwabara, the owner of said hands, said as he pulled his friend to his feet.

"I'm fine." Yusuke replied straightening and glancing up at the red head with a hesitant gaze.

"So um…Have you…? You know…Heard anything?" He asked, looking away and moving his hand to massage the crick in his neck.

Kuwabara studied his friend and rival with firm grey eyes before sighing, slumping back in his chair.

"Nah. I haven't heard anythin'." He said gruffly. He felt sorry for the other man when he saw his whole body droop at the disheartening news.

"But hey, no news is good news, right?" He tried again, hoping to cheer the hanyou up a bit. It didn't really work the human observed but at least his friend had attempted a smile along with a noncommittal grunt.

Just as silence again began to settle in the empty waiting room Yusuke turned to Kuwabara once more.

"Hey man, do you have your phone on you?" Yusuke asked. Kuwabara frowned reaching into his jeans pockets.

"Yep. Why?" He finally answered, withdrawing his hands and holding up a small black mobile phone.

"Can I borrow it for a few minutes?"

"Sure. But why? Who ya calling?" Kuwabara inquired, handing over the thin telecommunication device.

Yusuke stood up and started walking out of the room.

"I'm going to call Kurama." He replied over his shoulder. The taller man watched his friend walk away with a grimace, not envying him in the slightest.

_

* * *

_

_Ring, ring. Riiiing, riiiing. Ring, ring. Riiiing, riiing._

The detestable noise rang insistently through the quiet house invading the happy dreams of its sleeping inhabitants. A groan escaped the red haired demon as he felt sleep slowly recede from him.

"Noooo…" He almost whimpered as wakefulness set in. An annoyed sigh escaped his lips as he rolled over in his bed, attempting to ignore the phone's pleas for attention.

Suddenly the ringing stopped. Kurama's ears perked up as he heard his human mother's voice, quietly conversing with whatever hell-demon had thought calling at, – a quick glance at the digital clock by his bedside – three in the morning was a good idea. His mother stopped talking and the sound of her voice was replaced by light footsteps coming up the stairs. Kurama frowned as he laid there, footsteps coming closer and closer, followed by the creak of his door opening. The red head shot up his emerald eyes falling on the silhouetted figure in his doorway.

"Mother, what-"

"It's for you Shuichi." Shiori said, cutting him off.

"Who is it?" '_Shuichi_' asked, staring at the offered phone with his frown still in place.

"It's your friend Yusuke. He sounded upset." The dark haired woman explained softly. Without waiting for a response she gently pushed the telephone into her son's hands and stood up with a small smile. "I think it would be best for you to take it." Shiori left the room swiftly, closing the door behind her and not leaving the grumpy red haired male any chance to argue.

Kurama stared in bemusement at the door his mother had just exited through_. Sometimes I have to wonder if all mothers are in some way psychic_, he thought wryly.

A muffled voice came through the receiver, drawing his attention to the phone once more.

"_**Kurama? Kurama are you there?" **_Yusuke's voice crackled. The fox demon in question sighed as he moved the device to his ear.

"Yes, I'm here." He replied, annoyance lacing his tone. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" Silence dominated the conversation briefly before his friend responded.

"_**Kuwabara's mobile says it's just after three am." **_

"Why are you on Kuwabara's phone?" Kurama asked, his eyebrows puckering.

"_**We're…We're at the hospital…"**_ Yusuke answered his tone meek. Worry instantly flooded the red head.

"The hospital! Are you alright? What happened?"

"…" The other man's silence filled him with dread.

"Yusuke!"

"_**Please just come…Click. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee-"**_ Kurama pressed the end call button, effectively silencing the high pitched beeping. Instantly he jumped off the bed and hurriedly pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing his jacket from the back of his desk chair he rushed out the door.

…And immediately bumped into someone.

"_Mothe_r_?_ What are you doing, I thought you had returned to bed." The young man asked, shifting his wait impatiently from leg to leg. Shiori smiled at him and held out her arm. There clutched in her pale hand jangled a set of keys.

"Take the car." She said simply, a knowing look in her eyes. Kurama stared at the older woman before a smile broke out across his face. He briefly swept his mother into a grateful hug before snatching the keys and running down the stairs.

"Thanks!" He yelled over his shoulder as he threw open the front door and disappeared outside. Shiori shook her head as she chuckled, staring after her son for a moment before turning to go to bed.

_

* * *

_

"Here." Yusuke handed Kuwabara back his mobile phone as he returned and sat back down next to the tall ginger haired man with a shaky sigh. Kuwabara slid the device back into his right jean pocket with an uttered "thanks" before turning to his friend.

"How'd it go?" He asked. Yusuke glanced over before sighing.

"I…I told him we were at the hospital but…I just couldn't tell him why." Kuwabara could hear the tears in the other man's voice.

"I'll tell him…When he gets here." The dread in Yusuke's voice was palpable and once again the lanky youth felt pity well up inside him.

Yusuke, he knew, valued his friend's above all else in his life. Before the spirit detective gig he'd never had any besides Keiko and now that he did…Well Kuwabara knew how much they all meant to the hanyou. To face the possibility of losing one of them and to something as horrible as _suicide_…It must be torture to him. Sure it was scary and hurtful to Kuwabara and would be to Kurama too, but it would surely pale in comparison to whatever Yusuke was feeling now.

"How _the hell_ didn't we see this coming?" Yusuke whispered mournfully.

Kuwabara looked over to see his best friend staring at the ground with his head in his hands. A single, salty drop of water fell, landing with a silent splash on the tiles. He could see that the dark haired man wasn't actually talking to him. He was merely wondering aloud the question that had been plaguing the both of them since they witnessed the attempt.

Kuwabara sighed as he leaned back and turned his eyes heavenward. _I don't know_. He thought. 

_I just don't know…_

_

* * *

_

'_Somewhere life is good, and things go as they should  
it's hard to find, but that's alright yeah  
Searching for the way, push harder everyday  
It's deep inside, that shining light yeah  
But I'm scarred, by barriers placed in my path  
I'm scathed…._

_This ride that takes me through life  
Leads me into darkness but emerges into light  
No one can ever slow me down  
I'll stay unbound._

_Sometimes when we're young, and always on the run  
It gets so dark and I know that place yeah  
So don't be too concerned, you've got a lot to learn  
Well so do I and we've got plenty of time yeah  
Don't fall off the track yet with so many races to go  
Hold on…_

_This ride that takes me through life  
Leads me into darkness but emerges into light  
No one can ever slow me down  
I'll stay unbound._

_Some live so wrong, with what we do is each his own  
But living in fear, endless shame for countless years  
I never lived in fear I knew I'd die another day  
I never viewed my life as something... slipping away!_

_Some live so wrong, with what we do is each his own  
But living in fear, endless shame for countless years  
I never lived in fear I knew I'd die another day  
I never viewed my life as something... slipping away!_

_There's nothing here to take for granted  
With each breath that we take  
The hands of time strip youth from our bodies  
And we fade  
Memories remain  
As time goes on…_

_There's nothing here to take for granted  
With each breath that we take  
The hands of time strip youth from our bodies  
And we fade  
Memories remain  
As time goes on…' _

_Unbound (The Wild Ride) by Avenged Sevenfold._

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_There we go! Chapter 2 is up! So tell me what you all think. I will most likely be putting up the next chapter around the weekend. So don't forget to read and review!_  
_


	4. Chapter 3: How the Mighty Have Fallen

Hey guys! I'm back with the third chapter, a little earlier than expected! From this one onwards things are definitely more interesting. The difference in length between the rewritten version so far and the original of this story is ridiculous. I'm already up to 20,000 words (not all posted yet though) and the original was only 6000! I'm shocked.

Before we start I'd like to thank _Sinistera of the Akatsuki _and _Mika Starlight_! Thanks so much for reviewing guys!

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Disclaimer: I regret to say that I still do not own YYH. Or the songs listed in any of these chapters.

Warnings: This chapter contains angst. That's seriously it.

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* * *

Chapter 3: How the Mighty Have Fallen

* * *

Yusuke and Kuwabara succumbed to the heavy silence that made its home in the empty, unwelcoming waiting room. Neither said a word for a long time, both men trapped within their own thoughts.

This probably would have continued were the two youths not disrupted by the echoes of swift light footsteps coming up the hallway. The footsteps grew steadily louder and the room's only two occupants lazily turned their heads towards the door-less entryway just in time to see a familiar red haired man walk into the room. The man's fearful emerald eyes landed on them almost immediately and he jogged over to the corner they had seated themselves in.

"What happened? Are you two alright?" He asked, his worried gaze scrutinizing.

"We're fine." Kuwabara assured their teammate. "Nothin' wrong with us at all." Relief washed over the concerned fox demon briefly before confusion rose up in its place.

"But then why…?" Kurama asked puzzlement written clearly across his face.

The taller ginger haired man faltered, reluctant to answer. He didn't know why, but he felt that somehow it was Yusuke's place to inform their friend of the incident involving the usually emotionless fire demon. Yusuke seemed to take his silence as his cue and he rose from his hard hospital chair.

...

The hanyou looked up at the clueless man standing opposite him. _I've never appreciated how true that saying is before. _He thought sadly. _Ignorance truly is bliss._ A soft sigh escaped his lips and he turned away from his friends. His fists clenched, his demon strength forcing harsh crescents into his calloused palms. He tried to contain the emotions running rampant through him but couldn't stop the few rogue tears that escaped and slid down his cheeks.

Kurama's sharp green eyes didn't miss a thing and he felt his apprehension skyrocket. Yusuke was a very emotional being; a hot-head who easily gave himself over to his feelings. But rarely did he cry. Kurama could count the amount of times he had seen his friend cry on one hand and the situations then were always serious. _Deadly serious._

"He…Hiei he…he tried to kill himself." Yusuke barely recognized his own voice. It was hoarse from fear and emotion. He heard the sharp shocked intake of breath from the youko behind him. The raven haired young man forced himself to continue.

"Kuwabara and I…we found him in a park a while after you left. He looked so sad, so…fragile. It was hard to believe it was really him we were watching. There was no anger, no poker face, just sadness…" _It was heartbreaking…It was…beautiful…_ "We-_I_ was so shocked I just…I couldn't move. He pulled out his sword and he…_he_…And I…I couldn't do anything…" Tears fell freely as a strangled sob forced its way out of his throat. "I just _stood there_ frozen until it was too late…I should have seen it coming! I should have been able to stop him…!" Yusuke sobbed silently, his shoulders shaking violently. His whole body tensed unable to handle the overwhelming feelings contained within.

"_I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING!_" Yusuke screamed as he spun around, his fist stopping millimeters short of Kurama's face.

Emerald green eyes silently observed Yusuke throughout his story, pain filling him at the knowledge that his close friend had gone so far as to attempt suicide, but also pain for the hanyou in front of him. Yusuke was an incredibly strong man, both inside and out, and to see him breaking down like this…

The raven haired man's fist loosened and his arm trembled. Even more tears spilled from Yusuke's chocolate eyes and Kurama pulled his friend into a hug, comforting the other man as he sobbed brokenly into his jacket.

Despite the red head's strong concern for Hiei, he couldn't help but feel flicker of anger and betrayal. How could the observant fire demon not realize how badly his actions would affect their little group? How could he not know how much they cared about him?

After a minute Yusuke pulled away from his friend muttering a small sad "thanks". The three of them took their seats and waited in silence once more. Another hour passed this way, the tension in the room increasing as more and more time passed.

* * *

Finally footsteps again echoed in from the hallway and all three heads whipped in the direction of the sound. A tall man with chestnut hair and a haggard looking face stepped out from around the corner. He was dressed in a set of blood smeared blue scrubs with a long white lab coat thrown over the top, a clipboard was held tightly in his hand. He looked around the stark white room with pale blue eyes, finally setting his sights on the trio in the corner.

"Which of you is the one who brought in the stab victim?" He asked. The three glanced at each other before Kurama responded with a question of his own.

"What does the victim look like?" The friends watched as the doctor checked the papers on his clipboard.

"The patient is a short male with spikey styled black hair, a white headband, bandages on his right arm and pale skin. We also noticed when we were checking his pupils that he appeared to have red eyes. Contacts no doubt." He replied in a calm voice. Yusuke quickly abandoned his previous position and stepped up to the man.

"That's Hiei!" He exclaimed. The hanyou seriously doubted there was another person matching that description in the whole of the Ninjenkai, let alone the hospital they were in.

"Well I'm Doctor Lee and I'm one of the surgeons who were operating on your friend. And you are…?"

"Yusuke, Yusuke Urameshi." The raven haired youth replied, shaking the proffered hand. "This is Kuwa-I mean Kazuma and K-Shuichi. Anyway how is he? Is he gonna be okay?" He asked fearfully after introducing his two companions.

Doctor Lee couldn't help but smile at the genuinely concerned young man in front of him.

"Your friend, – Hiei did you call him? – is finally out of surgery and has been moved to a new room where we will be keeping him until he is healed. I have to admit I wasn't sure how he was going to make it out alive when I first saw the extent of his injuries." The brunette explained, chuckling at the mixed looks of horror and relief on the three males listening intently to him. "We removed the sword from the boy's abdomen to find internal bleeding throughout the area. And I seriously must question how someone of his seeming youth obtained such a weapon. First we had to set him up for a blood transfer, seeing as he had lost a full one and a half liters of blood. Then we worked on stopping the internal bleeding. Once we'd finished I stitched up the wound. Your friend is still alive thanks to you. The nurse said you looked as though you'd run quite a ways to get here and I commend you on your efforts. If you hadn't gotten him here as fast as you did, it's unlikely he would have survived."

Yusuke's body relaxed, a feeling so unfamiliar after the tense period of waiting and fear. He and the others shared a smile before he turned his weary, yet relief filled eyes to the doctor once more.

"Thank you…The news it…it means a lot to us." Doctor Lee smiled in understanding.

"You can come and see him if you'd like."

Yusuke's head seemed to act of its own accord, nodding fiercely before his mind could catch up with everything. The brown haired doctor's smile grew wider, gesturing the tired group to follow him.

...

The three young men followed the doctor back down the hallway, up the stairs and down another corridor, finally stopping at the third last door in the hall. The four of them filed into the small room. It was blindingly white and smelt strongly of blood and disinfectant. There was very little furniture; a single pot plant, a television hanging from the roof, an off white cupboard and two chairs pulled up next to the thin bed. There, looking incredibly small amongst the crisp white sheets, lay Hiei. The raven haired demon was hooked up to several drips with water, food, blood and urine going in and out of his pale body.

Yusuke felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn with welling tears at the sight of his friend and teammate, one of the strongest people he knew, laying there looking so fragile. Without a word Yusuke moved one of the hard hospital chairs right up next to the top of the bed and sat down. After a look from Kuwabara, Kurama took the second chair, the second red head opting to stand against the wall on the opposite side of the bed.

Doctor Lee watched the gloomy scene with a sad look in his eyes. It had been pretty obvious that Hiei's wounds had been self-inflicted. The general cheerful doctor could only imagine how heartbreaking it was for these boys. To see someone they obviously cared about a lot resort to this. Regretfully he cleared his throat, succeeding in gaining the conscious occupants attentions.

"Hiei should be fine. I saw nothing in the wound or areas around to indicate any likely complications. Now does Hiei have any allergies, diseases, any medical problems at all that we should be made aware of? We would also appreciate the names of any family members, a guardian, anyone who would need to be contacted about this incident?" He asked as procedure dictated. Yusuke turned his chocolate eyes to the fox demon next to him, knowing he had the most experience with Hiei. Kurama caught his friend staring at him, waiting for an answer. He sighed before turning to the doctor standing patiently just inside the door.

"No, Hiei is…generally very healthy. I doubt he so much as suffers hay fever. Though he has in the past suffered several physical injuries of varying severity, I assume they wouldn't be a problem. The only other point worth noting would be that ever since his birth Hiei has run at a slightly higher than average temperature. It's not usually that noticeable but I feel that you should know this. It doesn't mean he's sick in any way, it's just how he's always been."

Yusuke and Kuwabara stared with wide eyes at the red haired man.

"I…Never knew about the temperature thing." Yusuke couldn't help but comment. His friend looked over and smiled.

"Well of course not. Like I said, it's hardly noticeable. Hiei himself hardly thinks of it to my knowledge. It's just how things are." Kurama said, his emerald eyes sparkling with mirth at their reactions.

Doctor Lee scribbled down the notes on the medical chart before turning his sky coloured gaze upon the group once more.

"And his family?"

This time the two red heads turned to stare at Yusuke. Yusuke looked back and forth between them but it was obvious that Kuwabara knew the least of anyone here about the shortest member of their team and Kurama smirked at him, exacting his own subtle form of revenge. The raven haired man held back a frustrated sigh. What on earth was he supposed to say to that? He turned his gaze once more to the limp form of his friend before answering.

"Hiei has no known family." The hanyou lied easily. After all it wasn't like Yukina knew of her relation to the apathetic demon and as far as he knew Hiei had no other living relatives. "We're practically all he's got." Sadness filled Yusuke's voice at the last part.

Doctor Lee watched Yusuke carefully as he spoke, he saw the sadness and whether Yusuke was aware of it or not, he saw a longing in the youth's chocolate eyes.

"Now, usually hospital policy only allows for one family member to stay under any circumstances-" The doctor started to explain but was quickly cut off.

"He has _no_ family! …But...I would like to stay anyway..." Yusuke tore his eyes from Hiei to look pleadingly at the doctor. "_Please_?"

Doctor Lee smiled widely, kindness and understanding evident in his blue orbs.

"I was about to say, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," He said with a teasing grin in the abashed detective's direction, "that I am willing to make an exception in this case. Just make sure to tell anyone who asks that you're the victim's brother, okay?" The thirty-odd year old man added with a wink. Yusuke's face broke into a small grateful smile.

"_Thank you_."

"It's nothing." Replied Doctor Lee as he moved over to Hiei's prone form. "Before I leave I'll just take off his headband and store it with the rest of his clothes in the locker here." He said with a flourish towards the thin white storage unite next to the bed. As he reached out to remove the bandana the doctor found his wrist captive in a strong hand. His blue eyes followed the arm up to see Yusuke staring at him with suddenly hard, fiery eyes. The two continued to stare each other down until Kurama intervened. He pried Doctor Lee's wrist from his friend's grasp and subtly moved the good doctor away from the demon unconscious on the bed.

"That's very kind of you Doctor Lee but I'm afraid you can't do that. You see, Hiei got involved with a rather…errr…_unique religion_ a few years ago and that white headband is a symbol of his faith." The red haired youko lied. "He would no doubt appreciate it if you left it on." Doctor Lee nodded once though his expression remained one of confusion.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. If it will make you feel better then I will leave it on." The brunette apologized before stepping back towards the door. "Yusuke if you need anything, just press that red button there on the side of the bed and one of the nurses should be with you momentarily. The rest of your friend's belongings are in the locker as I said before, I even managed to get his sword in there as well, though I advise either Shuichi or Kazuma take it home with them to avoid any more trouble. I will be back later in the morning to check on Hiei." With a last goodbye to the trio the doctor left the room, his footsteps growing fainter and fainter as he walked away down the corridor.

The three friends collapsed with relief once they were sure the other man was gone.

"Man that was too fucking close!" Yusuke groaned pitifully.

"Indeed. If you had been but a few seconds slower Yusuke, then we would have had a real situation on our hands." Kurama sighed heavily. "Well that's about all the drama I can take for one night. I think it's best if Kuwabara and myself take our leave. We'll return sometime tomorrow no doubt." Kuwabara yawned loudly in agreement and Yusuke bid them a quiet farewell. The two red heads wasted no time in shuffling out the door, the fox demon pulling Hiei's treasured katana out of the locker and taking it with him.

Now all alone in the small white room, Yusuke pulled his chair closer to Hiei's bed, his trembling hand reaching out to take Hiei's smaller, paler one.

Yusuke would never admit it to himself but he was terrified. Even now that Hiei was out of immediate danger his heart still clenched uncomfortably in his chest. Because he was frightened of losing him. Scared that if he let him, the shorter man would disappear. And so he grasped his friend's hand tightly in his own, making sure through the feel of Hiei's rough calloused skin against his own thick palms that he wasn't going anywhere. At least not tonight.

A small smile made its way across Yusuke's lips as he noticed how warm the demon's hands were compared to his own. _Who would have thought someone as supposedly cold as Hiei could be so warm_, he thought. Yusuke watched Hiei silently, slowly being lulled to sleep by the reassuring beeping of the heart monitor and the soft sound of Hiei's breathing. Finally he joined the smaller man in unconsciousness, his head landing softly next to their joined hands.

* * *

'_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came._

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…_

_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God, he hears you  
And pray to God, he hears you!_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…_

_As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you begin to wonder why you came._

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…_

_How to save a life, how to save a life  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life…  
How to save a life…_

_How to save a life…'_

_How to Save a Life by The Fray._

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There you have it. What'd you guys think? Good, bad, eh? Next chapter will be up soon...Hopefully.

Read and Review! Pwetty pwease?


	5. Chapter 4: To See You So

Hey guys! I'm here today with the fourth chapter of A Reason To Live! Not much to say today so lets move on to the gratifications!

I would like to thank _Natsume-chan_ and_ Sinistera of the Akatsuki_ for reviewing chapter 3. I'd also like to thank _Forbiddensoul562_ even though they reviewed chapter 1 simply because I liked their review. ^^

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Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing presented here in this story but the plot.

Warnings: Small amounts of coarse language.

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* * *

_Chapter 4: To See You So_

_

* * *

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_

Dawn broke late the next morning, delayed by the shroud of grey that covered the sky. Rain fell mistily over the city and its surrounding suburbs. Yusuke awoke to the sound of the door creaking open. The hanyou was immediately alert, his body tensed and ready for anything. Of course it was only the kind faced Doctor Lee who entered the small white room, just another reminder to the raven haired man that last night was not a dream as he had hoped. Though it was hard to hope it was simply his imagination when his friend's body lay unmoving on the bed in front of him. Yusuke stretched and yawned loudly, attempting to shake off all traces of tiredness from himself.

"_Oh!_ Good morning Yusuke. Sorry if I woke you. I'm just here to check on Hiei's progress." Doctor Lee said walking over to the bed with his clipboard once again held fast in his right hand.

"Nah, I'm a light sleeper…Sometimes." Yusuke's chocolate eyes watched as the doctor finished checking everything and scribbled something on his clipboard. "How is he?" He asked all traces of fun or light heartedness gone from his voice. Doctor Lee turned to face him with a grin spread widely across his lips.

_I swear to God this guy has somehow glued that smile to his face,_ the hanyou couldn't help but think.

"The wounds haven't opened, the bleeding has definitely stopped and overall he's looking a lot less pale than when he arrived last night. He even appears to have a little colour in his cheeks. This is all very good news and even though he hasn't yet regained consciousness I remain positive that Hiei will make a full recovery." The brunette explained happily. Yusuke wanted to hold onto the hope that the other man was offering. He wanted to latch onto it with both hands and make it come true so badly. But doubt as always lingered on the edge of his awareness, watching, waiting, and spreading fear into the raven haired youth's already overstressed mind. The younger man bit his lip.

"But…He hasn't woken up. Hell he hasn't moved as much as a toe all night. Is that…_normal_?" Yusuke asked, unable to hide the worry in his voice. Doctor Lee chuckled.

"Oh Yusuke. It's only been 5 hours at most since Hiei came out of surgery. These things take time." The doctor said. Yusuke frowned at the man before glancing over at the clock on the far wall.

_Eight am_, it read. _Seriously?_

"It's hard to believe that it's only been several hours since it all happened. It feels like an eternity ago." Yusuke sighed and rubbed his suddenly tired eyes. The doctor looked at the boy with understanding blue eyes and laid a comforting hand on the hanyou's muscular shoulder.

"Traumatic experiences are often like that. A minute can seem like an hour, an hour like a day, a day like a lifetime. It's perfectly normal to feel that way." The brunette said softly. "And as for Hiei, of course his still being unconscious is normal. If he woke up today I'd be quite surprised. Your friend, he almost _died_ last night. Him being here today, alive…Well that's quite a feat. Give it time… He'll come back to you."

Yusuke looked up at the doctor with a small exhausted smile.

"Thanks…_Again_." The dark haired man chuckled weakly. Doctor Lee smiled and stepped away with one last pat on the other man's back.

"Anytime. You look really worn out. I think it would be best if you were to go home for a couple hours. Clean yourself up, get some food and a nap under your belt and come back later." Yusuke looked positively appalled at the suggestion. Just as he opened his mouth to object Doctor Lee cut in.

"You can leave under your own influence or I can have you removed from the premises; your choice." The medical specialist growled with a cheeky glare. Yusuke wisely decided to follow the other man's advice, jumping up and rushing from the room with one last worried glance at Hiei.

Doctor Lee laughed as he watched the youth scramble from the room and walked back down towards the staff room with a large grin on his face.

* * *

Kurama rapped his knuckles smartly against the red wood door in front of him as behind him hundreds of ogres ran around, shouting about this, that and the other.

"Come in." A muffled voice called from the other side of the wood. The red haired youkai straightened his tan jacket and entered the room. The room was small, brightly lit and very bare, the only furniture in the room being a large dark mahogany desk that was littered with towering stacks of paper. Barely visible behind the masses of white was a tall brunette with the letters JR printed across his forehead and a blue binky held tightly between his teeth. The brunette looked up when he heard the door click shut behind the demon. Flashing gold eyes stared into emerald green.

"Yo." The young man behind the desk greeted around the blue obstacle in his mouth.

"Koenma. You're looking busy as usual." Kurama replied politely, nodding at the papers on the desk. Koenma sighed.

"You know as well as I that these are very busy times." The demi god said with a knowing look in his honey eyes. Kurama nodded sagely as he gently shifted a stack of papers half a meter tall and perched himself on the edge of the desk in its place.

"Indeed they are…"

"So Kurama, what brings you here?"

"I originally planned this meeting to talk to you about Hiei's…unusual behavior recently. However I now believe there is more than just a little uncharacteristic behavior to discuss." The red head explained, his emerald eyes serious. Koenma regarded his companion for a moment before turning away with another heavy sigh on his lips.

"Yes. I heard about the events that took place last night…_How is he_?" The brunette asked, his gaze still fixated elsewhere.

"The doctors believe he'll make a full recovery despite his very near brush with death. They never even suspected that their patient may have been…not exactly human. Though there was a close call towards the end there." Kurama grimaced at the memory, an expression that Koenma caught as his eyes whipped back to his friend's face at the comment.

"_What do you mean_?" He asked. The red head's frown deepened.

"One of the doctors felt that Hiei would be more comfortable if he removed his headband and stored it with the rest of his clothes." Koenma's golden eyes widened dramatically and Kurama, despite the severity of the situation and what could have too easily become, chuckled at the look on the six hundred and something year old's face. "Thankfully Yusuke reacted swiftly and when the doctor went to grab the jagan's covering he grabbed the doctor's wrist. After that I was able to come up with a lie that would satisfy the man and allow Hiei's headband to remain untouched for the rest of his stay."

Koenma leant back in his chair with a relieved huff.

"I've never been as thankful for Yusuke as I am right now. The amount of paperwork that I would have had to do if Hiei had been discovered…" The older man shuddered at the thought. The two men sat in silence for a few minutes, both trapped within their own thoughts. When the silence was finally broken it was Kurama's silky voice that filled the void.

"…_Did you know_?" He asked quietly, refusing to look his friend and employer in the eyes.

"Know what?"

"Did you know…That Hiei was even _thinking_ of committing suicide? Did your files so much as hint at this?" The youko's voice was low and laced with accusation. Koenma shook his head but quickly realizing that the other man couldn't see his non-verbal answer he replied aloud.

"No. I wish they had. I wish there was any indication of the thoughts running through his head. Maybe then we would have been able to stop this." The demi god said miserably.

"But there _was_ plenty of warning. Hiei's off behavior should have instantly sent alarm bells off in my head."

"Kurama you can't blame yourself. At least you noticed that something was wrong." The red haired demon finally turned to face the brunette, his emerald eyes filled with shame.

"_No_. I noticed Hiei was less aggressive than he used to be but I chalked it up to nothing more than him being, I don't know, more at peace with himself. _A stupid assumption_. Yusuke was actually the one who pointed it out to me." Kurama said, his admission leaving Koenma flabbergasted. "Yusuke came to me a week after Hiei's return to express his growing concern. He told me that he had noticed Hiei looking at the rest of us during our time together with what could only be described as a _sad smile_. Yusuke even told me that the other day when I had been late to his apartment that Kuwabara had insulted Hiei _and Hiei didn't even glare at him!_" Koenma appeared equally as floored by the information as Kurama himself was when it had first been relayed to him. The brunette demi god heaved a shaky breath.

"Then it seems that we simply failed to piece together the clues in time." He concluded pitifully.

"Yes, the fault is ours. We call ourselves his friends but when he needed us most we weren't there." The youkai agreed, guilt heavy in his every word.

Kurama quickly shoved his feelings to the back of his mind and continued.

"Yusuke has taken recent events particularly hard." He commented offhandedly. Koenma gave an undignified snort causing the top most paper on one of the shorter stacks to flutter.

"Yusuke's very emotional and he takes things too personally. He personally holds himself responsible for everyone and everything that happens." The demi god said, shaking his head at the memories.

"While that is true, it's different this time." Kurama said lowly, his forest green eyes sharp.

"How so?" The demon sighed and ran a hand through his scarlet locks, gathering his thoughts. A hint of a frown lightly creased his brow.

"I don't know if anyone else has noticed but Yusuke was incredibly happy when Hiei returned. Whenever Hiei's around Yusuke seems…_cheerier_, more enthusiastic. He never fails to try to include Hiei in anything we're doing and even when his invitations are rejected he never gives up." Kurama sighed helplessly. He knew that what he was going to say would sound ludicrous. "Since Hiei's attempted suicide it's almost as if the fire has gone out in his soul. I've never seen Yusuke so broken as he was last night. _Never_."

"Really?" Koenma stared at the other man in the room with studious eyes like molten gold, trying to read the youkai. The red head's frown deepened, obviously deep in thought.

"Yes. It's almost like…" Koenma couldn't help but lean forward in his chair, watching Kurama intently.

"Almost like what?" The demi god asked, curiosity burning within him.

"Well it's almost like Yusuke is _in love_ with Hiei…" Kurama said, flooring the brunette once more. After a moment Koenma burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter, banging his fists on the desk in front of him and knocking over the nearest paper towers in his mirth. It took the man several minutes to regain control.

"However it seems I'm sure that's not the case." He said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Could you imagine? Ridiculous." Kurama turned away from Koenma as his friend went about restoring the wayward reports to their appropriate positions.

"Of course…Must be the stress of recent events…" The red haired demon said dismissively. However in the back of his mind he doubted that was the case…

* * *

"_**BUY! BUY! BUY! Our one day only sale is on tomorrow at your nearest…"**_

Yusuke woke with a start, shooting up from his place on the couch as the startling loud ad burst through the television's speakers. The empty bowl which had contained his breakfast clattered angrily to the floor having been thrown from its original perch on Yusuke's chest. The dark haired man shot a glare at the noisy black box before grabbing the remote from the floor beside the sofa and turning it off. Yusuke rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned. Groggily the hanyou rose to his feet, picking up the abandoned bowl he moved over and dumped it in the sink. Glancing over at the microwave the green numbers informed him it was now 12.30 in the afternoon.

"Shit!" The youth cursed as he ran around his apartment, grabbing seemingly random things and stuffing them in his duffle bag. _I can't believe it's so late!_ Yusuke thought as he grabbed his keys and his phone (which he had forgotten the night before). _I only meant to sleep for an hour at most! _

Yusuke had returned home not long after leaving the hospital and taken the good doctor's advice; having a shower and shoveling some cereal down his throat before laying down for what was supposed to be a short, revitalizing nap. A short three hour nap as it turned out.

_Well at least I'm not tired anymore… _

The raven haired hanyou ran out the door and didn't slow down until he was two blocks away. Of course that was also when he realized that in his rush to get to the hospital he'd accidentally left his apartment unlocked.

"Fuck!" Yusuke shouted angrily. He was almost tempted to turn around and go back but quickly dismissed it. _I just want to get to the hospital and see Hiei as soon as possible_, he thought, completely oblivious to the implications of these thoughts. _I want to be there just in case he wakes up._

As he walked towards the medical center his mind remained fixated on the small fire demon. He just couldn't get the night before out of his head. It scared him but if he closed his eyes he could almost see Hiei kneeling there among the field of flowers, staring with such wide, curious ruby eyes at his swords silver blade flashing in the light of the full moon. Completely unguarded. But he had seen more and more of this Hiei since the fiery eyed demon's return to the Ningenkai…

...

_Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama reached the top of the temple stairs, laughing at stories of times now gone. Suddenly a strong deep voice interrupted their amusement._

"_Hn. Nothing changes around here does it?"_

_Yusuke's head had turned in the direction of the voice, his heart suddenly racing. Chocolate eyes met crimson and the hanyou felt a smile split his face. _

"_Hiei!" He yelled joyfully, running over to the fire demon that stood in the shade of one of the trees, dressed in his black pants and black tank top. The detective resisted the urge to hug the fire demon, instead settling for ruffling the shorter man's gravity defying raven hair. To Yusuke's great shock he wasn't impaled upon Hiei's katana for his 'disrespectful' actions, instead the other man pushed his hand away and smirked at him in a way that could almost be considered playful were it anyone else…_

_A few days later Yusuke invited everyone over to his apartment to play video games. Hiei, despite some rather scathing comments on the hobby, actually showed up. Admittedly the small demon didn't play with them, choosing instead to sit on the open windowsill, but just his presence being there cheered the hanyou up immensely. A while into the event the dark haired youth had slipped into the kitchen to grab some refreshments. When he came back out carrying a bag of chips and a couple bottles of cola he noticed the strangest thing. Kuwabara and Kurama were debating something (Kuwabara obviously on the losing side of the argument) and there Hiei sat on his windowsill watching the encounter with a sad peaceful smile. Yusuke stood there staring for several moments before the taller of the red heads noticed him and called out. Immediately Hiei's pale face was wiped of all emotion, almost as if the smile hadn't been there at all…_

Yusuke grimaced as he broke out of his reverie. The signs were all there of something being up with the crimson eyed fire demon. Clues that he failed to piece together. He had foolishly hoped that Hiei was simply opening up more, maybe even growing to do more than simply tolerate their continual presence. The raven haired youth sighed. _What on earth could make Hiei of all people depressed enough to want to kill himself?_

_...  
_

To Yusuke's great annoyance he was no closer to the answer of the question by the time he had reached Hiei's hospital room five minutes later.

The dejected hanyou stepped into the stark white room to find Kuwabara already sitting next to the bed, a miserable yet thoughtful look on his face. The red haired man looked up when he heard his best friend's footsteps on the grey linoleum floor.

"Hey." He said in his rough voice, waving lightly.

"Hey." Yusuke replied, equally unenthusiastic. "Anything?" He asked vaguely with a nod in the limp demon's direction. Kuwabara simply shook his head causing Yusuke to sigh. The detective dumped his duffle bag unceremoniously on the floor and took the second chair waiting by the bedside. The second the raven haired man's rear hit the hard cushioning the door once more flung open revealing an exhausted Kurama. The scarlet haired youkai walked in and gently closed the door behind him with a sigh.

"Afternoon Yusuke, Kuwabara." He greeted with a tired smile. The two returned the gesture with halfhearted waves and the fox demon came to stand at the foot of the bed, leaning against the metal railings there. The three tried to distract themselves with idle chatter but after a while the conversation inevitably turned to the fourth member of the team.

"We should've seen this coming." The dark haired man said, guilt rolling off him in waves.

"But how were we to know that the shrimp's weird behavior was him getting ready to off himself?" The tallest youth cut in uncouthly. Yusuke glared at his friend, disgusted at his sudden rudeness towards the obviously fragile fire demon.

"While that may be true, we as his friends could have asked him about it. After all Hiei never acts without reason." Kurama replied calmly, his forest green eyes flashing as he defended his friend. The admonished spiritually aware human had the decency to look remorseful for his words.

"Well yeah but…Like what excuse could there really be for trying to kill yourself?"

"Whether anyone else finds his reason acceptable or not doesn't matter, in Hiei's mind it makes sense." Kurama explained. Kuwabara sighed and laid his head in his hands.

"This is stupid. Let's talk about something else." He croaked. The shorter red head sighed.

"Like what?" He asked, exasperation lacing his silken voice.

"I don't know! What do you want to talk about Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked turning his head to look at his silent friend. The raven haired hanyou didn't show any sign of having heard him. Kuwabara frowned.

"Hey, Urameshi!" He said a little louder, even reaching out a hand to poke the hanyou's arm. When Kuwabara's continued efforts failed to receive a response Kurama looked closer, his emerald eyes sharp. His friend was sitting shock still, his chocolate eyes staring intently refusing to acknowledge anything. Kurama carefully followed Yusuke's line of sight finally coming to meet tired crimson eyes. The long, red haired man gasped in shock, managing to put an exhausted smirk on the now conscious fire demon's haggard face.

"_Don't stop now…it was just getting interesting."_

* * *

_'I'll be there close your eyes and you'll see me_

_Just call my name…_

_So many nights I sat here waiting  
There were times I couldn't go on  
Still my heart was anticipating  
It made me be strong  
Made me hold on..._

_There were some calling me crazy  
I've been accused of being naive  
But I don't need no one to save me  
Cause I got you, you make me believe…_

_I'll be there in the night when you need me  
Just call my name  
I'll be there close your eyes and you'll see me  
Just call my name._

_I don't need to know the answers  
I don't want to understand  
We were born to take the chances  
I know the truth when you hold my hand...  
_

_I'll be there in the night when you need me  
Just call my name  
I'll be there close your eyes and you'll see me  
Just call my name._

_I had waited a lifetime lost on the open sea  
Praying for an angel to be sent to me_

_So come to me!_

_Now the night don't last forever  
Every moment is a song  
Cause we face the night together  
Something so right could never be wrong…_

_I'll be there in the night when you need me  
Just call my name  
I'll be there close your eyes and you'll see me  
Just call my name._

_I'll be there in the night when you need me  
Just call my name  
I'll be there close your eyes and you'll see me  
Just call my name._

_I'll be there!_

_Just call my name.'_

_Just Call My Name (I'll Be There) by Blackmore's Night._

_

* * *

_There we have it. I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't forget to tell me what you thought.

Thanks again and please continue to read and review!


	6. Chapter 5: What You do to Me

Hey everyone! Fifth chapter straight ahead lol! Well we're slowly getting to the end. I plan to have the last few chapter up by the end of next week. Agh crap! My k button has stopped working again! This is the third time during the writing of this story! (I've copied and pasted a k from the story to be able to write this part now lol)...I hope it fixes itself soon because many of the characters use the letter k in their names! It couldn't be the q or something noooooo...

Anyways I'd like to thank _Mika Starlight_ and_ Natsume-chan _for their wonderful reviews! I hope this chapter appeases your lust for my blood after the "cliff-hanger" last time...

...

Disclaimer: Sadly I still own nothing...

Warnings: From a quick scan of the chapter I believe the only thing you have to watch out for is a lot of angst and emotion.

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* * *

_Chapter 5: What You do to Me_

* * *

"_Don't stop now…it was just getting interesting."_

Everyone in the room stared at the dark haired demon lying in the bed as his voice rasped out. Yes it was weak, but the deep baritone was definitely his. It took a few minutes for realization to set in.

"H-Hiei…?" Yusuke whispered in disbelief. The man in question smirked wearily, his crimson eyes bright with amusement. When he spoke the humor in his voice was far from expected.

"Hn. Of course. Who were you expecting?" Yusuke's mouth flapped open and he floundered for an answer, but before the hanyou's fried brain could think up a reply the two red heads in the room swooped in on the fire demon.

"_You're awake_!"

"How're you feeling?"

"Man, are you okay?"

"Don't you _ever_ do something like that again!"

Kurama and Kuwabara fussed over the shorter man, making sure he was feeling alright, checking that he was comfortable and making him see just how much he had been missed in the short time they had been apart.

Hiei was overwhelmed but not in a way that was unpleasant. A faint blush worked its way across his pale cheeks that thankfully went unnoticed by his friends. His ruby eyes switched back and forth between the two men hovering over him as they spoke and seeing the relief on their faces sent warmth blossoming through his chest. Hiei couldn't help the smallest of smiles that made itself comfortable on his lips. Even if things hadn't worked out the way he planned, it was still nice to feel like people cared. Several times the youkai opened his mouth to reply to one question only to be cut off by another and eventually he just sat back and accepted it, occasionally managing to sneak in a "_yes_" or "_no_" between the barrage of enquiries. Finally after several minutes of interrogation the two red heads stepped back a bit, seemingly satisfied for the moment.

...

Throughout the entire spectacle Yusuke had remained still and silent. The hanyou couldn't say why but the joy that had first filled him upon sighting the fire demon awake had quickly been smothered by confusion and hurt. There were so many questions he wanted to ask and they swirled around and around in his mind. Why did he do it? Why didn't he come to one of them for help? Why? _Why?_ _WHY!_?

The thoughts that whirled through his head turned faster and faster becoming a hurricane of negative emotion that sent his concern and happiness ducking for cover in the recesses of his mind.

By the time he finally saw Kurama and Kuwabara pull themselves away from the bedridden youkai the dark haired man felt ready to explode.

"_Why?_" Yusuke growled lowly. Two pairs of eyes turned to stare at him curiously. The third pair, coloured in blood, looked on with trepidation.

"Why…_Why did you do it_?" Yusuke asked again, his voice was low but empty, failing to reflect the flood of emotions inside him. The only sign of the pain and anger he held within was the look in his chocolate eyes, dark and furious. Hiei stared back with his own ruby gaze filled with sadness, guilt and resignation. The hanyou knew that a confrontation like this was definitely not what someone as apparently emotionally fragile as Hiei needed but now that he had started he found he couldn't stop. The two men stared each other down for a minute before Hiei turned away, looking awkwardly to the side. This only served to further enrage Yusuke. Hiei had been running for too long; from his friends, his sister and from his emotions. Now he was doing it again. Silence was all that answered him.

"Why did you do it Hiei?" The demon avoided him, keeping his eyes firmly off the detective. "What did we do to hurt you so much that you felt you could no longer stand to be on the same physical plane as us?" Yusuke knew even as he the words escaped his lips that this was not the case, but the fears and insecurities egged him on.

"Aren't we your friends? Or are we nothing more than allies to you? Did you even _think _about how this would affect us when you did this? How it would affect your _sister_? Did you even _care_?" The dark haired man was yelling by then, all of his anxiety and hurt balled up and being thrown in a volley of scathing words. Just as Yusuke opened his mouth to greedily suck in the air he would need to continue the torrent of pain he was raining down upon the other man a quiet voice interrupted him.

"_Of course I care_." Hiei's head had whipped around, his eyes flashing as he spoke. His voice was quiet, almost afraid, so unlike his normal brash tone. Despite the fact that the wounded fire demon had not laid so much as a finger on him Yusuke felt the wind rush from his body. He was shocked by the terrified honesty in Hiei's voice, but he was even more shocked by what he had said. Had the stoic loner actually admitted to _caring_ about someone?

" Wh-_what_?" Yusuke stammered, his chocolate eyes wide. Hiei sighed before regarding the hanyou with the same haunted eyes that Yusuke had seen the night before. The expression made the fire youkai seem so much younger, so much smaller.

"Of course I care." He repeated before continuing. "Though I wish I didn't. If I didn't care then maybe it wouldn't have come to this…If I hadn't given in to these stupid feelings then maybe none of this would have been necessary." This was the first insight Hiei had ever given into his feelings and yet Yusuke was no closer to understanding the fire demon before him. What Hiei was saying…it just didn't make sense.

"I cared too much to allow myself to keep pulling everyone down. I just didn't want to do it anymore…I…_I don't want to keep feeling this way…_" Hiei's rich voice broke but tears had yet to gather in his eyes. The smaller man bit his lip and diverted his gaze. His heart constricted painfully and he just couldn't bring himself to say anything more. The crimson eyed demon pulled his knee up to his chest and wrapped his arms around it, a position that looked wrong in this situation. It was just so normal and this…this was anything but. Hiei kept his eyes lowered, wanting to avoid the disgust and contempt that he was sure would look back at him from their eyes. _From his eyes._

Yusuke stared, mouth agape, at the demon on the bed. He had never felt so lost, so _betrayed_. He felt grief for the man that had come to feel this way, that had come to feel that this was the only course of action left to him. But the anger and hurt didn't go away. He was hurt that Hiei had never even thought to come to them to talk about it_. And angry_. He was livid that Hiei had made the decision for all of them without even asking. _Didn't they get a say, a chance?_

The hanyou had never felt so strongly about anything and it confused him. He looked at his friends hoping to find the same emotions dancing in their eyes but the orbs that stared back at him were empty of the rage and agony he felt inside. It only served to rile Yusuke up even more. The dark haired man's fists clenched as he attempted to reign in his anger but found himself unable to grasp it. Blood dripped from the cuts his nails had made in his palm. Finally he gave up and turned towards the door.

"Yusuke? Where are you going?" Kurama's silken voice called after him. Yusuke paused with his bloody hand on the door's silver handle.

"I'm leaving!" He growled. "_I have to be alone right now_." Even to him his voice sounded harsh, unforgiving. He looked back over his shoulder and glared straight into shocked ruby eyes. His heart seemed to speed up and stop at the same time. A snarl twisted his features as he stalked out. The door closed behind him with an earsplitting _SLAM_ and Yusuke was gone.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Kuwabara asked clueless as ever, his rough voice cutting through the silence that Yusuke had left. Kurama didn't bother dignifying the question with an answer. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed and stared after the hanyou with pity in his emerald eyes. He understood that Yusuke was upset, they all were, and he had an idea as to why it hit him harder than it did them. Love was a powerful emotion after all. The scarlet haired youko sighed before turning back to his bedridden friend. He expected many thing's from the other demon after Yusuke's outburst; acceptance, fear, even anger. But he did not expect what he saw before him. It was simply unheard of for the tough little fire demon to be so…_broken_. It was the only way that Kurama could explain it. Hiei had pulled his right leg up to join the other and was hugging his knees to his chest, literally curling into himself. A psychologist would describe such an act as a subconscious need to make oneself a smaller target, a sign of great fear and _pain_. From what he could sight of the demon's face his eyes were wide open, staring but not seeing and his sharp teeth had pierced his lip where he had been biting it causing blood to trickle down his chin and onto the clean cotton sheets.

Hiei was a pitiful sight to behold and it washed away any lingering resentment the red head felt towards his friend for his actions. Kurama frowned, his hand reaching out to comfort his friend.

"Don't worry Hiei, Yusuke doesn't mean it." He said quietly. The youkai snorted in derision. Nevertheless he brought his head back up and attempted to wipe away the blood that trailed down his face from his lip, succeeding in smudging it further.

"Didn't sound like he didn't mean it." He replied bitterly. Despite his tough guy act Kurama could see the hurt hiding in Hiei's crimson eyes.

"_He didn't_." The red head said firmly. "He's just angry and scared. He doesn't mean to lash out." Hiei didn't respond, instead turning his head and staring out the window on the other wall. Kurama sighed and gave his friend one last pat before rising to his feet.

"I'm going to go get something to eat and inform the doctor that you're awake. I'll be back shortly." He said before walking out the door. Kuwabara scrambled from his seat next to the bed.

"Hey wait for me! I'm hungry too!" He yelled as he ran down the hall after the fox.

* * *

Hiei didn't move for a while after his friends had left, seemingly content to stare out at the city as it bathed in the afternoon sun. Despite how peaceful he appeared, on the inside it was like the aftermath of a hurricane. Yusuke's rant replayed itself in his mind cutting deeper into his heart with every word and the dark haired man didn't even try to block it out.

"Why save me then…" He whispered miserably. _Probably his stupid hero complex_, the fire demon thought bitterly. _Well I'm not going to let him stand in my way. No matter how much I love him…_

Hiei's ruby gaze followed the tubes from their bags down to his body. The tubes were still in place and two little suction cups were stuck on his well-defined chest. He scowled. Reaching his hand down his grabbed the tubes sticking out of him and ripped them off. Blood flowed from the inside of his elbow and down the back of his hand as the tubes clattered uselessly against their poles, dripping various fluids onto the linoleum floor. An incessant high-pitched screech came from the machine beside him that until the moment he removed the suction cups had been beeping quietly in the background. Hiei ignored the drone and stood. The action caused the blood to rush from his brain and he staggered slightly, his vision blurry. It took a precious few moments for the room to stop spinning and come back into focus. Once he felt he could move around without passing out he began to search the room for his belongings. The raven haired demon finally found his prey in the cupboard near the bed. He smirked as he pulled out his blood stained clothes and pulled them on, wincing when he opened the gash in his right palm. The cut instantly reminded him of his sword that he noticed wasn't in the locker with the rest of his possessions. He glowered at the piece of furniture as if it were its fault and briefly contemplated searching the hospital premises for his treasured blade but decided against it when he heard loud footsteps clamoring down the hallway. Without another thought he threw open the window and jumped out.

* * *

Kurama and Kuwabara parted ways at the café downstairs, Kuwabara claiming he was too hungry to go hiking around after the doctor. Kurama shrugged it off and went off in pursuit of Doctor Lee's office. After getting himself lost twice he finally asked a pretty blonde nurse for directions. The red head was annoyed to find out he was only two corridors down from his destination but thanked the giggling employee anyway.

Ten minutes after his search began he finally reached Doctor Lee's Office. The door was painted a pastel moss colour and was barren but for the tarnished silver nameplate and knob. He knocked on the door, a little louder than was probably necessary and stepped back to wait. For a moment nothing happened then the door opened to reveal a tall man with light brown hair.

"Shuichi! Is there something I can help you with?" The ever smiling doctor asked cheerily. The youkai nodded in response.

"Yes actually. I came to inform you that Hiei awoke about a half hour ago." The doctor's pale blue eyes widened dramatically.

"Really? Wow…that…that was certainly unexpected." Kurama raised an elegant scarlet brow and the doctor quickly reiterated. "No, this is good of course, it's just shocking. We didn't believe he would wake up until tomorrow after the trauma his body went through." Doctor Lee moved out from his office, locking the door behind him. He turned to Kurama once more and opened his mouth as if to say something when a beeping sound from the man's lab coat interrupted him. He motioned to the scarlet haired male to give him a minute and fished a small grey phone from his pocket. As he read the text a frown slowly made its way across his face.

"Is something the matter?" Kurama asked concerned. The brunette looked back up at the youth with a worried look in his eyes.

"I'm afraid so." He replied, all light heartedness gone from his voice. "I've just been alerted to the fact that the patient in room 218 is flat lining." Kurama felt terror freeze the blood in his veins.

"That's Hiei's room…"

The two men raced through the hospital towards room 218. Kurama reached the door first and in his hurry struggled to work the knob. Finally he threw the door open and ran inside. His terrified emerald gaze moved frantically around room not missing a thing. The bed was empty, various fluids from the tubes puddled on the floor around it. The heart monitor was letting out a constant whine and its attachments dangled uselessly. A faint breeze blew through the room bringing their attention to the now open window. Kurama moved over and stared out the window in a daze, despair settling in his heart.

* * *

'_I'm not afraid of dyin'  
As much as I might say  
I'm scared of you  
Moving lips, you're lyin'  
From the bottom of your little black heart  
Your little black heart!_

_I've never been so angry at myself  
I've never been so crushed by valid worries  
I've never seen such mindlessness before  
It's never been so cold…_

_What you do to me  
Is let you through to me  
Now it has to be  
Nothin' at all._

_This time it's me  
Who's gonna leave  
Leave you to bleed (Oh yeah)  
From the bottom of your little black heart  
Your little black heart…_

_Look at all these broken promises  
On the top of all these wasted worries  
Look at all of these too late conversations  
They never changed a thing._

_What you do to me  
Is let you through to me  
Now it has to be  
Nothin' at all._

_This time it's me  
Who's gonna leave  
Leave you to bleed (Oh yeah)  
From the bottom of your little black heart  
Your little black heart!_

_Hope falls hard  
Trust runs deep  
I won't make excuses  
Anymore for you_

_This time it's me  
Who's gonna leave  
Leave you to bleed (Oh yeah)  
From the bottom of your  
Little black heart  
Your little black heart…_  
_(Your little black heart yeah, yeah)'_

_Little Black Heart by Sister Hazel._

_

* * *

_HA! Lol I just dug my own grave with that cliff-hanger. Mika if you thought the last one was bad, what's this one considered? ^^"

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter and please continue to Read and Review!


	7. Chapter 6: It's Always Been You

Hey everyone! The sixth chapter is here! And it's the longest one yet...This chapter alone is longer than the version of this story that I originally posted. The original version was 6000 words...I'm over 20 000. That's just ridiculous lol! I hope you guys appreciate the effort I put into this chapter. This is the one I had to rewatch several episodes of YYH for...And take notes! I had to write down everything that happened in the relevant scenes and everything they said, just in case I ended up using it. Anyway I hope you all enjoy!

I'd like to thank..._Natsume-chan_...Just you. That's a sad list... Ah well, onwards to the story!

...

Disclaimer: No...Just no.

Warnings: Some coarse language and scenes containing small amounts of violence.

...

* * *

_Chapter 6: It's Always Been You_

* * *

...

Yusuke sprinted out of the hospital. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care. He couldn't get the image out of his head. Every time he so much as blinked Hiei was there, staring at him with shocked and hurt ruby eyes. His ears could still hear every word of their confrontation. Yusuke tried to block it out but it kept breaking down his walls like they were nothing. So he ran and ran, trying his hardest to escape the source of his internal conflict. _Trying to get away from Hiei._

Eventually Yusuke slowed. He was panting lightly as he arrived at a strangely familiar park. For a moment he managed to stop thinking about the fire demon and instead focused on the scenery around him attempting to place the location. The hanyou leisurely strolled down the gravel path that twisted its way around the rolling hills and leaf covered trees. It was half way through Spring, the weather cool but comfortable. The sun shone down on the fields, bathing the vanilla coloured flowers that littered the ground in its revitalizing rays. Yusuke frowned as the uniquely shaped flowers stirred a memory in his mind. A memory that he would have preferred to forget…

'_Hiei…' The name echoed almost mockingly through his mind. Indeed, there among the sea of cream petal flowers was the mysterious fire demon. The shorter man looked hauntingly beautiful. His pale skin and ruby eyes seemed to glow under the ethereal rays that shone down and his face, relaxed and peaceful, was so very different to the harsh expressions he usually wore. _

"How could I forget?" Yusuke muttered, staring at the park he had found himself at in a new light. The picturesque fields seemed somewhat less soothing when he knew what had occurred here just the night before. Though the dark haired man could see why his friend had chosen this particular location. The park was incredibly beautiful and surprisingly empty. Yusuke continued to wander the grounds, taking in the charming lands. But peace in the hanyou's mind could only last so long and soon thoughts of Hiei began to once again plague his mind, bringing with them feelings that both scared and confused him. He tried to place the emotions within him, tried to name them, but he couldn't remember a time when he'd ever felt this way before… The way his heart seemed to race whenever he was around the fiery little demon, so fast that he was sure it could have rivaled Hiei's own super speed. When he was with the fire youkai he felt happy no matter what they were doing, causing his stomach to flutter. It was a strange feeling that could almost be called…_No!_

"Don't be ridiculous Yusuke!" The hanyou reprimanded himself. There was no way that was the case. But at the same time… Yusuke plunked himself down under a tree and turned his attention inwards. Slowly he worked his way through the tangle of memories and disjointed thoughts that begged for his attention…

* * *

_Suddenly Yusuke was back at the Gate of Betrayal in Maze Castle… _

_Surrounded on all sides by stone, his arms raised in a desperate attempt to hold up the heavy ceiling that threatened to crush them all. He could hear his friend's grunting in exertion from their positions behind him. _

"_**Heavy isn't it?**__" A large floating amber eyeball, with purple skin and bat wings mocked in a high-pitched voice. He scowled wanting nothing more than to spirit gun that ugly creature right in its obscenely large eye. He could hear it laughing as it explained how the Gate worked, analyzing them as they walked its hall and adjusting the ceiling's weight to their strength and leaving them all to eventually be crushed by the overwhelming force._

"_But just enough leeway remains for __**one**__ person to escape; leaving their friend's to die. That's why it's called the Gate of Betrayal you see." The giant eye cackled._

"_**Damn…"**__ Yusuke growled. Behind him he could hear Kuwabara and Hiei arguing. Now is not the time to be fucking arguing, the dark haired youth couldn't help but think. He whipped his head around to tell them to 'fucking quit it' but when his eyes fell on the shortest member of their ragtag group he stopped, the cogs in his brain turning slowly. He turned his chocolate eyes back towards the exit where the amber eyeball fluttered. Just behind the ugly demon he could see the lever it had pulled to bring the roof down. An idea sparked in his mind. _

"_**Hiei!**__" He yelled suddenly, looking back over his shoulder at the demon. "You're a lot faster than any of us! We'll hold this up while you go and flip the switch!" Kuwabara swore loudly at his plan, accusing Hiei of being untrustworthy and shockingly Hiei himself agreed._

"_You're ugly friend is right. Are you sure you want to trust me? I've already vowed my revenge, maybe I'll handle that __**now**__…" The little demon said. Yusuke found it strange that the other man would think so lowly of himself. If Hiei was going to leave the rest of them to die he would have done so minutes ago. But he didn't say that._

"_Yeah, but I don't think quick deaths are your style." He joked. "I'll use my spirit energy and hold it up while you go for the switch…Just don't trip…" The look in Hiei's crimson eyes caused Yusuke's heart to constrict a little. It was almost like he'd never had a friend, never had someone trust him before. Actually considering Hiei's past profession that was probably true._

"_**I trust you.**__" The words escaped his lips before he even realized they'd crossed his mind. It seemed absurd after everything Hiei had done to him and Keiko and yet… in his heart he knew he meant them. _

"_Now __**GO**__!" He shouted, powering up to take the demon's share of the weight. Without warning he felt the roof press down harder on his already screaming muscles. He struggled to catch the ceiling finally managing to bring it to a halt once more. Something black caught his attention and he watched as Hiei reached towards the lever…But the pale hand stopped inches short. Fear engulfed him as the floating eyeball creature promised Hiei fame, power, an army…The spiky haired man stepped away from the switch altogether. Yusuke's heart sank. The two mumbled something and the eye turned away from the short demon. Suddenly Hiei was flying through the air, his sword slicing straight through the creature's pupil. The spirit detective smiled as Hiei pulled the switch and a giant weight was lifted from his body. He let out a breath he didn't remember holding and chuckled. The three of them moved out from under the stone and ran over to where Hiei stood. They smiled at him, which Yusuke amusedly noticed caused the shorter man to fidget in discomfort. _

"_I knew you'd save us…You punk." The raven haired youth smirked reaching across to give Hiei a friendly slap on the back. Despite Hiei's insistence that he only did it for his own benefit Yusuke noticed a slight blush spreading across his pale cheeks. It was then that Yusuke realized that Hiei was a man made up of many layers and that his uncaring act wasn't what it seemed. As the group moved further into the treacherous castle the fourteen-year-old vowed to find out exactly who his teammate was under the mask… _

_

* * *

_

_Maze Castle faded and was quickly replaced by Yusuke and Kuwabara's first fight with the Toguro brothers. _

_Kuwabara was kneeling on the floor but a few feet from the "corpses" of the Toguros'. Yusuke himself was being helped up by a concerned Botan. The fight had been harder than he'd thought it'd be and even now they still had to get to and rescue the ice maiden Yukina. Still leaning on Botan for support he felt it when the blue haired woman tensed and gasped._

"_**Oh no!**__" She cried shrilly in his ear. "Hiei's here!" _

"_Hiei's here?" He'd asked probably a little quicker than was normal. Yusuke's chocolate eyes had immediately followed the ferry girl's pointing finger. The short demon wasn't hard to spot. Hiei was up in the observation room, pounding his bare fists again and again into the face of the corrupted asshole that had kidnapped his sister. The blind rage in the man's ruby eyes was obvious and as the glass broke against Tarukane's ugly bald head so was the sound of flesh hitting flesh._

"_Regardless of what that man has done Hiei is forbidden from taking human life!" Botan's voice cut through the raven haired youth's thoughts. Realization of what was happening hit him. He pushed Botan away and moved closer to the observation room. _

"_Stop it Hiei! __**Don't kill him!**__" He shouted. Crimson eyes, dark and frenzied, turned to him briefly letting the spirit detective know he'd been heard. It didn't stop the demon. Yusuke could do nothing but watch helplessly as Hiei pulled back his fist and prepared for the final blow…But it didn't come. Chocolate eyes watched in awe as the girl he could only assume was Yukina grabbed the demon's arm. Hiei halted his actions immediately. Through the broken glass Yusuke could hear Yukina beg the man she didn't know was her brother to spare the monster's life. Her pleas were so tearful and heartfelt. Yusuke saw Hiei's expression soften, a smile ghosted across his lips. _

"_Understood. I won't make you cry…He's too worthless for that." Such words, said in such a warm and caring tone…It was unbelievable that the man who had spoken was Hiei himself. Yusuke had always suspected that the fire demon was quite the softie on the inside but even so he'd never seen such blatant compassion from him. It was strangely…comforting._

"_Looks like things have turned out okay." Botan said, coming up beside the dark haired teen with a smile._

"_Yeah…"_

_After all had been said and done Hiei still hadn't revealed the truth of his identity to his aqua haired twin. When Yusuke asked him why the demon had simply replied that, "__**Things are better this way.**__" _

_The brash detective somehow doubted that it was better for Hiei, but he didn't push it. It was obvious that the shorter man thought that he was protecting Yukina by doing this. Yusuke couldn't help but believe that despite what he had been Hiei could no more corrupt his sister than a newborn puppy could. Wisely he left the thought unvoiced…_

_

* * *

_

_Yusuke's next mental destination was the Dark Tournament. _

_He clearly remembered being annoyed that he had slept through Hiei's apparently heated battle against Zeru, especially when Kurama and Kuwabara told him about the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. Even if he hadn't witnessed the incredible match he wasn't blind and could clearly see the repercussions of using such a strong and unstable attack as the Darkness technique. Yusuke couldn't help but be concerned about the injured fire demon. He had caught the shorter man struggling with the pain in his right arm numerous times when he'd thought they weren't looking. And once, just once, he'd caught a glimpse of the grotesque damage done to Hiei's appendage. While he worried about the raven haired demon he was also awed by how determined and strong Hiei was, even in the face of something like that. _

_Of course he was even stronger after his arm was healed by the 'enchantress' which was proven during their match with Team Toguro…_

_Yusuke and the team watched as the man mountain known as Bui stepped into the ring. Yusuke didn't notice the small fire demon step up beside him until his rich voice reached his ears._

"_**Yusuke…**__" The sprit detective turned his attention to the smirking man. "I planned on taking the thug with the sunglasses for myself, but after what he did to Genkai I believe vengeance belongs to you." Yusuke was surprised by the thoughtful sentiment. He smiled down at the demon._

"_Thank you." He replied. Suddenly the air beside him was empty. From the corner of his eye he saw Hiei standing in the ring. _

"_Hiei?" Kuwabara's coarse voice asked from the behind the dark haired man. Hiei ignored the ginger haired man._

"_But this thug will do just as well." He said, more to himself than anyone else. The two men in the ring moved forwards, Bui's armor clanking loudly with every stride, they came to a stop a mere couple feet away from each other. _

"_Measuring in at four foot ten without his hair…__**Hiei**__!" The announcer called gesturing towards the raven haired demon. Boos echoed around the stadium as the majority of the audience called for Hiei's blood to be spilled. Yusuke growled at some of the things the demons were saying. If he got half the chance he'd use some of those suggestions on them!_

"_At nine feet…__**Bui**__!" Juri continued. Cheers rang out and Yusuke blanched. The difference in size between the two combatants was immense. The scene only worsened as the heavily armored Bui held up his hand summoning his humungous axe out of thin air. The weapon was twice as huge its wielder! Yusuke couldn't help the small bubble of fear that rose up within him as he sized up the gap between the fighters' statures. However Hiei just sneered at Bui's display of power, reminding the brash teen that his friend was no pushover and that he didn't need, nor did he likely want Yusuke's concern. The fire demon threw off his black cloak to reveal an equally black tank top. His right arm was bound tightly by bandages. The aqua haired referee stepped back and raised her gloved hand._

"_And now the second match of the final round of the Dark Tournament…Ready, set, __**GO**__!" The fight begun._

_Hiei and Bui danced around the ring, locked in deadly combat. For a long while neither seemed to be able to gain an advantage, but when Bui removed his armor the tables turned. Hard as Hiei tried it was obvious that he was getting nowhere, not with the other man's "battle aura" in the equation. Hiei stepped back and started to remove the bandages from his arm. Teasingly slow the cloth was unwound, coiling on the ground. The arena instantly began to crackle with the Darkness Flame's energy. Parts of the stadium crumbled free before flying towards Bui but the large boulders did naught more than explode when they came into contact with the pale haired man's aura. Hiei pulled back his arm before thrusting it out with a cry._

"_Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" What happened next burned itself in Yusuke's mind. A giant black dragon formed, seemingly made up of little more than flames and the darkest energy the spirit detective had ever seen. The energy appeared to fuse with the fire and become thick, tangible even. It spring forth from Hiei's tattooed arm, so beautiful and deadly. The dragon locked on to the floating Bui, charging the man with a powerful roar that shook the arena. The lethal attack hit home bringing forth an agonized cry from the other combatant. Yet despite the strength of the technique Bui brought the behemoth to a grinding halt. _

_Yusuke's chocolate eyes were dragged back to the wielder of the monstrous dragon when his ears picked up his friend's angry growl. The small fire demon glared up at his opponent._

"_I hope you don't think that dragon is completed!" Hiei shouted, releasing another burst of energy into his attack. The dragon seemed to grow even bigger if it was at all possible and blue flames sprang up, licking its long snake-like body. The dragon bulldozed Bui around and around the stadium but still the other demon didn't die. _

_All around Yusuke and his team the arena continued to rumble, the weaker demons in the crowd immediately obliterated by the Darkness Flame's energy. The small part of the raven haired teen's brain not focusing on the battle couldn't help but hope the assholes that had been dissing Hiei were among those incinerated. _

_A loud crash sounded from somewhere just outside the battlegrounds. Through the hole in the stadium wall Yusuke could see that the dragon had slammed its target into a large stone pillar. Bui let out a loud yell and with herculean effort swung the dragon around, sending it flying back at Hiei. _

_Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as the fire demon's own attack raced towards him. Terror like nothing he had ever felt before spilled into the spirit detective's veins. He wanted so badly to look away but found he couldn't pull his horrified gaze from the shock-still demon standing in the ring. The dragon's mouth opened and just like that Hiei was gone. Yusuke remained frozen in place, his wide chocolate eyes glued to the place where his friend had stood but seconds ago. The dragon gave a thundering cry of triumph that shook the very earth beneath his feet but the youth felt no fear. He couldn't even feel his heart in his chest. It was almost as if the dragon had swallowed that as well, leaving a gaping hole where the organ used to be. It wasn't possible…Hiei just couldn't be…__**dead**__…_

_Bui landed back in the ring amidst earsplitting cheers from what was left of the crowd. Juri brought her microphone up to her lips and was just about to call the battle when a sudden burst of dark energy materialized in the ring, sending the pretty referee girl scrambling once more. The ball of dark energy mutated and spiked, crackling like fire. A shadow formed in its center. The dark fire ball dripped to earth, the liquid energy soaking away leaving behind a very familiar dark figure. _

_Yusuke was hard pressed to hold back the strangled sob of relief that threatened to escape him. For there, standing in the middle of the crumbling ring, stood Hiei. _

"_**This brings up my next attack.**__" The fire demon said as though he'd never left. "__**It's a little different…**__"_

_The demon looked and sounded like a character from an action film and it made Yusuke smile._

"_Now __**that's **__cool." He couldn't help but blurt out. A few seconds later the weight of what his definitely alive teammate had said hit him. "Wait…A new attack? Does that mean what I think it means?" _

"_**It's true.**__" Kurama replied from behind him. "Hiei has consumed the Darkness technique…Apparently Hiei has learned what no one before him has…The only way to gain real control of the Darkness Flame is to trap it within." The scarlet haired man explained. "Now the dragon is inside him and at his full disposal." The spirit detective stared at the master of the dragon in awe. _

_Hiei smirked at the now terrified Bui. His opponent let loose a desperate battle cry before running to attack the small fire demon; a reckless move. The man's punch slammed into Hiei's pale face and for a moment Yusuke's concern came rushing back. Of course his worry was unnecessary as Hiei looked back up, his face unmarked._

"_**Nice**__." He said plainly. Hiei's remark seemed to both scare and enrage Bui and he attacked with a flurry of blows. Throughout the assault Hiei's body remained rigid, the shorter demon making no move to dodge the blows or retaliate. As Bui went to throw another punch Hiei finally moved, catching the much larger fist with incredible ease. The pale haired man cried out, falling to his knees as his battle aura faded away completely. The weakened man pulled away and made an attempt to escape by jumping into the air but Hiei was ready. The fire demon rose into the air gracefully, the Dragon of the Darkness Flame's image forming around him. It was almost poetic in its beauty as it flew up after the frightened man. The dragon dissipated as Hiei threw his fist into Bui's jaw, sending him crashing into the stands. Hiei landed safely in the ring and Bui…__**Bui did not**__. Much to the crowd's disappointment Hiei was announced the winner and the fire demon jumped out the ring to a chorus of angry boos._

_A ridiculously large smile made itself home on Yusuke's lips as Hiei rejoined the team on the sidelines. _

"_Really awesome Hiei!" He said cheerfully. _

"_Yeah…Awesome Hiei…" Kuwabara said with a nervous tremble in his voice, slowly inching away from the demon. "Now why don't you go twenty yards that way and fight the rest of them?" The ginger haired man suggested. Yusuke laughed as Hiei glowered at the human._

"_That's against the rules now, you cretin!" Hiei's voice sounded weaker than normal to the spirit detective's ears and when he examined the fire demon closer he clearly saw the shorter man's body trembling with exhaustion. "Besides," Hiei continued, "my attack expired." _

"_Expired?" The two humans echoed in confusion, blank looks on their faces. Hiei tried to glare at them but all three of his eyes were too drowsy to really pull it off._

"_I don't know if your brains can imagine it but this attack drained a great deal of my energy." The haggard looking demon explained wearily before letting loose a large yawn. Yusuke couldn't help but think how cute it was, but ignored the thought._

"_I'll require some hibernation to get it back." The spikey haired man was barely standing now, swaying precariously as he tried his hardest to stay awake. "Think you can manage to find a safe place for my body where it won't get stepped on?" Yusuke was about to confirm that yes, yes he could when Kuwabara cut in._

"_Hibernate?" The tall red head asked stupidly. Hiei glared once more._

"_Listen to me as closely as you can you two! I'm trusting you against my better instincts only because I have no other choice… If I wake up and we've lost…I swear I'll…kill you…all…" Hiei's threat trailed off as his ruby eyes closed and he fell forwards. Yusuke scrambled momentarily before catching the unconscious fire demon in his arms. A light blush spread across his tan cheeks as he stared at the man held tight in his embrace. Hiei looked so peaceful, so innocent. Without his strong aura and lethal glare he seemed so much smaller. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest as he lifted the shorter man up and walked into their team's locker room…_

_

* * *

_

_Then Yusuke was running for his life through a forest in nothing but his skinny jeans and sneakers, four black targets tattooed on his chest and arms. Behind him a big oil tanker crashed through the undergrowth, felling trees and anything else that got in its way. Sadly Yusuke was on the top of that list as the driverless truck, being used as ammunition by Sniper, chased him down. The spirit detective's sneakers pounded on the grass covered ground and he struggled to keep out of reach of the large vehicle. Suddenly something shined in the sun up ahead drawing his attention. There on top of a cliff in the forest stood Sniper, the pistol in his hand aimed right at Yusuke. This is it, the dark haired man couldn't help but think. There was nowhere for him to run, especially not when he had a huge truck speeding after him, a few inches from his ass. The loud crack of a gunshot echoed around the woodlands but Yusuke felt no pain. However he clearly heard the even more disturbing sound of the bullet piercing the truck's oil tank seconds before the tanker exploded behind him. Flames licked at his shirtless back and Yusuke was blown away…_

_Yusuke's world faded in and out. Darkness and light, flames and ruby red eyes. He could no longer tell what was real and what wasn't. Was he dead? Was he dreaming? Was he simply imaging safe, hard rock pressing into his hands and knees? And those voices, those incredibly familiar voices. Was he imagining them too? Yusuke opened his chocolate eyes and looked around blearily. He was on a cliff. The same cliff that Sniper was on. And there was a hand. A warm calloused hand resting lightly against the back of his neck. He looked up and found himself staring at a very familiar dark haired demon. _

"_**Hiei…?**__" He whispered, still not quite sure if what he was seeing was real. The demon's hand removed itself from the taller male's neck._

"_Don't get sentimental detective." Hiei said, his rich voice washing over Yusuke like a warm waterfall. The small fire demon walked forward towards Sniper and the other man instantly pulled up his gun, training the weapon on Hiei's approaching form. _

"_I have no quarrel with you stranger but I also don't mind killing anyone who gets in our way!" Sniper threatened. The shorter man ignored him._

"_**Last warning!**__" The human snarled. Hiei didn't stop. Yusuke heard the cocking of the gun and fear for his friend wormed its way into his pounding heart. But there was nothing the spirit detective could do as Sniper pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight at Hiei's chest. However instead of hitting the demon's heart and effectively killing him the bullet passed the worried man on the ground and sunk into a tree trunk a few meters back. Gunshots echoed continuously through the forest below as Sniper fired furiously around the clearing but he stopped with a gasp as Hiei suddenly reappeared, his sword imbedded in the trigger happy man's chest. _

"_**Hiei!**__" Yusuke yelled from his place on the ground, knowing that Hiei technically wasn't supposed to kill humans as it would most likely get him in trouble with Spirit World._

"_What? Now I'm not even allowed to kill the __**bad**__ humans?" The shorter man scoffed. "It's a few inches from his heart if that's what you're worried about." The raven haired teen stared, eyes wide as Sniper's hand came around, wrapping his arm around Hiei's neck. Slowly the gun was raised once more, tremblingly being pointed at Yusuke. _

"_What's the point?" He muttered. Sniper glared at his words._

"_No one can stop out justified cause!" He shouted, cocking the pistol. Hiei growled and with his incredible speed he pulled out his sword before spinning out of Sniper's grip and stabbing him again. Blood gathered in Sniper's mouth, spilling down his chin. He fell to the ground motionless._

"_You…You saved me…" Yusuke whispered, his chocolate eyes looking at the fire demon in shock. _

"_I was worried about the trees." Hiei replied. The spirit detective almost laughed at that one. The spikey haired demon walked over and stood, looking off in the distance with a faraway look on his face. "The wind coming in feels like home…" He said quietly, shocking Yusuke. "It's comforting and it soothes me." The youth smiled. It was rare that his generally stoic friend felt like sharing anything and he treasured the fact that Hiei was revealing such a peaceful side of himself. "It tastes of freshly spilled blood and the rotting smell of decayed corpses." Then again, Yusuke thought, some things he'd rather __**not**__ know. After a moment he realized the other man was waiting for some sort of response. He grunted noncommittally. Satisfied, Hiei continued. _

"_**Look at it.**__ The door to Demon World will be open soon…Maybe I'll return home." __**Home.**__ The demon said it so softly, reverently. Yusuke's heart sank. If Sensui succeeded in opening a portal to Demon World then Hiei would leave…and it seemed unlikely he'd return. The knowledge hurt Yusuke more than he thought it would. _

"_**Damnit!**__" He screamed, punching a small hole in the rocky ground. "After everything we survived in that stupid Dark Tournament I assumed everything else would…would be a big old piece of cake. Then some rogue spirit detective has to go and open up the __**freaking gates of hell**__!" Yusuke growled as he rose to his feet, his body ached after the torturous activity it had been put through. "Then to top it off Kuwabara has to go and get himself kidnapped!" The detective ignored the voice in his head that said none of that made him feel worse than the idea of Hiei leaving did. The dark haired teen turned and slowly began to limp away. Hiei's voice floated after him._

"_You're in no shape to be playing the hero."_

"_Well if I don't who will? __**Not you!**__" Yusuke yelled, spinning around to glare into the other man's dark red eyes. "Remember, this is our world not yours?" Silence was all that answered him. Yusuke growled and turned away once more. "See ya', I have to save the world…__**again**__!" Behind him Hiei's energy flared dangerously._

"_**I'm afraid I can't let you do that!**__" The fire demon moved quickly and before Yusuke even had time to twist back to face him the demon's sword was at his neck. The taller man glared at the katana's wielder. "For the second time today I hold your life in my hands. Somehow I doubt this Sensui will be as merciful as I." Hiei said with a mocking chuckle._

"_**Kuwabara needs me**__." Yusuke said, his voice low._

"_Kuwabara was ill prepared and look at what happened to him!" The teen's chocolate eyes flashed furiously. He snarled and pushed the blade from his throat, standing to tower over the shorter male. _

"_Shut up!" He shouted. Hiei glared in response, his crimson eyes narrowing dangerously._

"_Do I have to kill you to keep you from being foolish?" He threatened._

"_**You just might, Hiei**__." The fire demon's energy flared sending his cloak flying off his muscular shoulders. Yusuke's gaze stayed a little too long on the perfectly chiseled abs that had been made viewable. _

"_It's been too long since our last fight." Hiei said. The spirit detective rose to the challenge, summoning his spirit power. _

"_You ready?" The demon opposite him yelled._

"_Bring it on __**bitch**__!" Yusuke shouted in reply. Simultaneously the two charged each other. They met with a clashing of power and fists, sending energy crackling through the air. Human and demon exchanged devastating blows for quite a while, neither gaining an advantage. The two shot back momentarily before leaping at the other once more, their arms drawn back and their fists tightly clenched. Right as Hiei's fist came towards him Yusuke pulled up his arm, blocking the punch. The action was mirrored by the other man and the two stayed there, stuck in a stalemate. Finally the two separated. They jumped away from each other panting and covered in sweat. _

_Hiei chuckled as he straightened, abandoning his stance. Slowly he held out his bandaged arm and Yusuke stiffened. But instead of obliterating him with the Darkness Technique the fire demon pulled his arm up to his face and began to lap at the wound blocking Yusuke's fist had left. Chocolate eyes stared as if mesmerized as the small pink tongue flicked out to slide along the bloodied skin. The detective's mouth grew dry but he shook it off._

"_Well that's mildly disgusting…" Yusuke muttered, though the feelings the sight aroused in him were far from revolted. Hiei ignored him._

"_You rose to the challenge." He said finally, his ruby eyes glancing up at the taller male. "It seems you haven't lost your spirit power, you just needed a kick in the ass." The dark haired teen's jaw hit the ground. Anger bubbled up in him once again._

"_You mean you stalled me here just to see how strong I am?" He yelled. Hiei gave him a bored look._

"_You really are still a simple child aren't you? __**You just don't get it**__." The spikey haired demon paused and spat the blood from his mouth. "Do you remember when you fought Toguro in the tournament and we let you think that Kuwabara was dead?" Yusuke winced at the memory. "Back then you lacked the motivation to reach your potential and Toguro went out of his way to bring it out of you. Sensui…Sensui just wants you __**dead**__." Realization hit the youth like a ton of bricks…Or more accurately an oil tanker. Hiei picked up his cloak and slipped it around his shoulders before turning away. "Harness your own power if you hope to beat him. If you take anything from our scrimmage, take that." For a second the demon seemed to hesitate. "So __**go**__…Save the human world…Or don't. I don't really care. Either way I'm fine with the outcome." _

_Yusuke tried to hold it in, he really did. But once that first bubble of laughter escaped his lips he was a goner. The spirit detective burst into uncontrollable laughter. _

"_What are you laughing about?" Hiei's voice cut through the teen's merriment. Yusuke wiped a tear from his eye._

"_You're so full of crap!" He giggled. "__**I don't care**__." He mocked, echoing the words the demon had spoken just a moment before. "You've been rooting for __**me**__! You did all this to help me survive." Yusuke jabbed his finger at Hiei as he continued. "I __**told **__everyone you'd come back to rescue us when we needed you, you big old softie." The raven haired youth snickering returned as an amusing thought ran through his head. "Or should I say 'little softie'?" Hiei's eye twitched and Yusuke forced himself back under control. He cleared his throat and smiled softly at his friend. "__**Really**__…Thank you Hiei…I was needing that kick in the ass."_

"_Hn." Hiei grunted. The shorter man quickly turned his face from the human and started walking back into the forest. Panic momentarily gripped Yusuke. _

"_**H-Hey**__!" He yelled at the back of the retreating demon, causing him to pause midstride. He would never admit that his voice sounded desperate even to his own ears. "Where do you think you're going? Now that you're little secret's out…well…there's no reason…Look what I'm trying to say is that I could really use your help on this one…" Yusuke bit his lip. Wow that sounds gay…As an added afterthought; "Kuwabara could use your help." Hiei gave him a familiar look that clearly said he believed Yusuke was an idiot…Not that he ever hesitated to say it aloud as well._

"_But I hate Kuwabara." He said plainly before twisting on his heel and stalking off once more. "You do them one favor and they think you're their best friend, this is why I could care less if their whole species was destroyed." The casual comment stung more than the detective cared to admit. Though he was pretty sure that Hiei didn't dislike humans as much as he said, it didn't mean the constant slanders didn't hurt. An idea sparked in his mind and pushed his previous thoughts away._

"_If you hate our kind so much I know of a video tape that might interest you." Yusuke lay down the bait. Hiei hesitated, looking back over his shoulder with a suspicious glare._

"_What tape would that be?" The demon asked, twisting his body around to properly face the taller man. Yusuke resisted the urge to smirk. __**Too easy**__._

"_Oh, just a little snuff film you might have heard of called __**Chapter Black**__." Crimson eyes widened and gleamed, closely resembling freshly polished rubies. "It's out of print but Sensui's got a copy…I could get it for you…"_

"_The most forbidden contraband in all of Spirit World? You think they're going to let you __**walk out**__ with it?" _

"_**Think about it.**__" Yusuke tempted. "In all the rush of the aborted apocalypse that tape is going to be the last thing Spirit World Intelligent is worrying about." A smirk spread across Hiei's full lips as the dark haired teen spoke._

"_Hn. You're quite clever when you put your mind to mischief." The demon commented, his eyes sparkling. Suddenly he tensed, his gaze moving to look past Yusuke. "Hey…" He muttered. Yusuke followed his friend's guarded stare and he too stiffened. Flying towards them through the late afternoon air were two large demons. _

"_Friends of yours?" Hiei asked him, voice thick with sarcasm. _

"_I assumed they were yours." Yusuke shot back. Less than a minute later the intruding demons landed heavily on the cliff edge before them. The two were even bigger up close and incredibly ugly; their hair straggly, their faces lumpy and their skin the most putrid shades of blue and green. They roared loudly and their breath washed over the spirit detective like a river of sewerage. _

"_Woah!" Yusuke gagged. "Someone could really use a breath mint!"_

"_We're new to town." The taller one with puke green skin said his voice comparable to a bullfrog. The grey-blue one jumped in impatiently._

"_We've come to plunder your puny world! Show us your women and human flesh depository!" Greeny laughed at his friend's comment._

"_As you can see we're hungry in more ways than one!" Yusuke felt bile rise up in his throat at the demon's vulgar comment. The imagery was too much for the poor detective. _

"_Then this means that Mushiyori city has advanced to stage 3." Hiei said from beside him, effectively driving the disturbing pictures from Yusuke's mind. Yusuke could hear the smirk in the other man's voice. "I believe these demons' are technically classified as __**weak and ugly**__." The demons' in question roared furiously._

"_Who're you calling ugly?" The green one thundered._

"_Look at this one; he doesn't even have a single beauty wart on his face." The squat blue one said contemptuously, pointing at Hiei. Yusuke's chocolate eyes immediately fell on the small fire demon's face. Hiei's skin was smooth and flawless. His eyes, if unique in colour, were like two perfect almonds positioned side by side. The demon's lips were full and his nose could almost be described as cute. All in all he was easily identifiable as attractive by any human female or male. Nope, no "beauty warts" there. The shorter man spoke, his deep voice derailing Yusuke's train of thought. _

"_Hey Yusuke," The crimson eyes that glanced up at him burned like hellfire. "I think we finally stumbled across a very good reason for me to help." The raven haired man's expression changed to that of confusion. "If we don't defeat Sensui we'll be overrun by these vermin disgraces to the demon race…__**And I would not enjoy that**__." Hiei's use of the word 'we' didn't go unnoticed by the spirit detective who grinned in response._

"_Yeah, me neither." The two large and definitely ugly demons, who had for a minute been forgotten, leaped at the two dark haired males with cries of fury. Turned out they were ridiculously weak and within second they were taken care of._

"_As much as I can't stand humans, I think I hate tourists even more." Hiei said wryly as he and Yusuke started back down into the forest. Yusuke just smiled._

_

* * *

_

_Finally his mind returned him to the night before. He watched the scene play out as he and Kuwabara found their fiery little friend amidst a sea of cream coloured flowers. Once again he saw Hiei kneeling on the ground bathed in the ethereal glow of the moon's rays. It had been the most beautiful and haunting sight Yusuke had ever witnessed. And when he saw that sword enter the fire demon's small body it felt as if he himself had been stabbed. When he held Hiei's dying form in his arms Yusuke felt like was the one who was dead…Like he couldn't live without the beauty in his arms…_

_And maybe he couldn't. Looking back on those times, it was like all the pieces had magically been put into place. Yusuke saw it now. What had always been there but he'd never realized, never acknowledged it…_

_

* * *

_

Chocolate eyes slowly fluttered open as Yusuke returned to the present. His heart felt light, giddy, and his mind was no longer a restless cyclone of disregarded emotion. Understanding, acceptance…They had freed him. It seemed silly and cliché but the world around the man was suddenly brighter and more beautiful. The grass smelled sweeter, the sun felt warmer and colours appeared more vibrant. Because he now knew the truth. When he had looked back at his memories he realized that the thing that had seemed most clear in his mind was Hiei. He recognized the emotions and thoughts during those times for what they really were. What had always been there yet he had never cared to, – _never wanted to_, – see. It was _so_ obvious now. His never ending faith in the fire demon, his constant worry for him, and the way his eyes had always lingered a little too long…He was in love. He, Yusuke Urameshi, was in love with _Hiei_. Hiei, the short little fire demon; Hiei, the master of the evil eye; Hiei the only person to ever have mastered the Dragon of the Darkness Flame; _Hiei_. And he didn't care one itty bit.

A large goofy smile threatened to split the dark haired youth's face in two as stood up and wiped dirt and grass stains from his jeans. He knew what he was going to do now. The detective was going to run into that hospital room and pull _his_ fire demon into a scorching kiss that will leave no doubt in the other man's mind as to Yusuke's feelings.

As Yusuke jogged back out of the park he purposefully ignored the coppery scent that wafted into his nose. He was on a mission and nothing was going to deter him. _Nothing…_

_

* * *

_

'_They tell you where you need to go  
They tell you when you'll need to leave  
They tell you what you need to know  
They tell you who you need to be…_

_But everything inside you knows  
There's more than what you've heard  
There's so much more than empty conversations  
Filled with empty words._

_And you're on fire when He's near you  
You're on fire when He speaks  
You're on fire burning at these mysteries…_

_Give me one more time around  
Give me one more chance to see  
Give me everything You are  
Give me one more chance to be... (Near You)_

_Cause everything inside me looks like  
Everything I hate  
You are the hope I have for change  
You are the only chance I'll take._

_Well I'm on fire when You're near me  
I'm on fire when You speak  
And I'm on fire burning at these mysteries  
These mysteries..._

_I'm standing on the edge of me  
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.  
And I've been standing on the edge of me  
Standing on the edge._

_And I'm on fire when You're near me  
I'm on fire when You speak  
(Yea) I'm on fire…  
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries  
Ah you're the mystery…  
You're the mystery...'_

_On Fire by Shinedown._

_

* * *

_Phew, all done! And just two more chappies to go! I hope you all enjoyed that. Feel free to tell me what worked and what didn't or just anything like that. I appreciate all feedback (except flames for the pairings and stuff like that).

Anyway please continue to read and review!


	8. Chapter 7: Hide and Seek of the Heart

Wow, I honestly didn't think I'd get this one out today. I've been a little slack on my writing the last week. Though you needn't worry as I only have one more chapter to go after this one and I will finish it if it kills me.

Anyways once again I'd like to thank _Natsume-chan_ (wow I don't even have to look at my emails) for reviewing. I appreciate your words of encouragement and thank you for taking one minute out of your schedule to write the review. :)

It's amazing. This story is definitely the longest piece of writing I've ever written. We're way over 20 000 now folks!

...

Disclaimer: Jin! Hiei! Do I own you guys yet?

_Both: You wish!_

...Damn...

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing and a minutely graphic scene towards the end. And slight amounts of boy love! Don't like, don't read.

...

* * *

_Chapter 7: Hide and Seek of the Heart_

_

* * *

...  
_

Yusuke made it to the hospital in record time. He flew across the terrain, his feet barely hitting the ground. He dodged around other people on the sidewalk, jumped over car hoods and even once knocked some prissy girl who was applying her hot pink lipstick. Once he reached the hospital he sprinted through its blindingly white halls ignoring the shocked and angry cries of nurses and doctors alike. He took the stairs three at a time; he did it all. _Just to get back to Hiei_. When he reached the plain wooden door to the fire demon's room he didn't even hesitate. He threw open the door and barged inside, desperate to share his newly realised feelings with the shorter man. If he'd stopped to think about it he might have found it funny. After all those years of denial he now readily accepted the love he felt for Hiei, even though he himself recognized his emotions for what they were only a half hour ago. Now it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest if he didn't confess to their existence as soon as possible. But as he entered the small, barely furnished room his chocolate eyes were met with a scene that left him frozen with fear. Inside were his two red haired friends, Kuwabara and Kurama. Kuwabara was leaning against the wall with a haunted look in his small grey eyes. Kurama sat on the sill of the open window, the gentle breeze pulling through long scarlet hair and slowly drying the few tears that had slipped down his cheeks. Even the kind faced Doctor Lee was there, but there was no smile on his face…His expression was a grim one, his blue eyes hard and his lips pressed into a thin line as he sat on the bed…_The empty bed_…

Yusuke's scared brown eyes desperately scanned the room for any sign of the missing fire demon. He was unsuccessful…_Hiei was gone_.

"What happened?" Yusuke asked fearfully. "Where's Hiei?" Doctor Lee let out a heavy sigh. Silence reigned for a long moment.

"We don't know." The brunette finally replied his voice quiet and his eyes looking everywhere but at the dark haired man.

"What do you mean you don't know?" The hanyou growled as anger rose to mix with the terror inside him. He couldn't believe that this was happening…Not when he had been gone for only a few hours, not when he'd finally come to terms with what he was feeling.

"Yusuke…" A feminine voice cut into his thoughts. Chocolate eyes met helpless emerald. "Hiei ran away." The youko whispered, his tone melancholy. Yusuke's world seemed to shatter; the razor sharp shards fell down like rain around him. _Why? Why now?_

Ignorant of his friend's inner turmoil the red haired man continued.

"Kuwabara and I left the room not long after you stormed out. He, to get something to eat, and I, to alert Doctor Lee of Hiei's return to consciousness. When we returned the window was open, Hiei's things were gone and he was nowhere to be found." Kurama explained. Yusuke slumped down on the floor near the room's entrance, his horrified expression hidden behind the hands he placed his head in.

"If…If Hiei _ran_ away…_Damn it_! He could be halfway across the fucking country by now!" He moaned through his fingers. He rejected the voice in his head that said that his fiery love could be dead by now, unable to handle such heart breaking thoughts. He appreciated that neither of his friends brought it up either.

Doctor Lee frowned in confusion at the raven haired youth's strange pessimism.

"Yusuke don't you think that's going a bit far?" The brunette reprimanded. "Hiei only escaped an hour or two ago and in his condition I doubt he would have gotten too far. The police will find him. They've been searching for a while now so I'm sure they're getting close." He said, though his words made him pause_. I still can't understand how someone as injured as Hiei could slip past every single doctor, nurse and patient in the hospital without being sighted once, _he thought with a slight puckering of his brows. Two disbelieving snorts and a loud bark of laughter interrupted the doctor's musings. His pale blue eyes rose to glare at the room's other occupants.

"Shame on you! Have some faith! In both your police force and the retrieval of your friend." Doctor Lee snapped. Hard chocolate eyes snapped up and ensnared his own.

"Please Doc, give us a break. We know Hiei better than _anyone_, – not that that's saying much mind you, – and if there's one thing we know it's that if Hiei doesn't want to be found, then you can bet your ass that you're not gonna find him!" The raven haired man explained with a dark expression settling on across his features. The look disturbed the brunette on the bed. Where was the strong, caring man he had seen before? Where was the man who ran to the hospital with his friend bleeding in his arms and refused to let him die?

He asked Yusuke as much.

"He knows when something's a lost cause." Yusuke replied, turning away from the doctor. It didn't show on his face, but the other man's words really hit home. Where was he? The man who would do anything for his friends and never gave up even after the game was over, where had he gone? _It was a fair question_, Yusuke thought. Why wasn't he out there looking for his friend? Why hadn't he sprinted back out the room the second he knew that he was missing? A horrific and bloody image floated through his mind and he grimaced. _That's why…Because I don't want to be the one to find him…Not like that…Not again…_

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, bringing the detective out his reverie. He looked over and stared right into the once again smiling face of Doctor Lee. _Wait, smiling? _

"_Go_ Yusuke. Don't let your fears of what you may find hold you back. You don't know for sure that Hiei is dead." The brunette said comfortingly.

"_Your friend needs you_." Yusuke felt a small smile spread across his lips._ Hiei needs me…I can't fail him._

_

* * *

_

Clad in his regular black clothes, Hiei sprinted away from the hospital at a speed that would have put the V8 Supercars to shame. He ran and ran even though there was no specific destination in his mind. He didn't care where he wound up anymore; he just felt the desperate need to escape; to get away from the hospital, from his friends and most importantly from Yusuke.

The fire demon's heart constricted at the thought of the dark haired hanyou. Every time he blinked he saw the other man's cruel, hate-filled glare. The harsh words he had spat whispered into his ears on the soft breeze. The dagger in his heart twisted painfully. Ruby eyes narrowed at nothing in particular as he tossed around the idea of ripping his own ears off in an attempt to silence the horrible voice that replayed over and over in his mind.

Hiei pushed himself harder, ignoring his still weakened body's protests. He didn't care if he hurt himself. He was in so much pain already he doubted he would notice even if he fell off a cliff and was smashed to bits on the rocks the would surely be waiting below.

_Now there's an idea…_ The fire demon thought, half serious.

Suddenly agony blossomed across his torso causing the raven haired man to stumble. His vision blurred momentarily and he hissed through clenched teeth. He limped over to the nearest tree and propped himself up against its rough trunk. A calloused pain gripped his upper stomach and came away red with blood. _Damn, guess I was wrong,_ Hiei thought as he pulled up his already filthy black tank. Underneath his washboard abs were slowly being painted crimson as blood dripped from his now ripped stitches in a steady stream. The short male swore. _How annoying_.

Tormented ruby eyes flickered around the area.

"A park…_the _park…" He whispered.

Indeed, the small fire demon was standing in one of the more abandoned areas of the park he had been in the night before. The same vanilla flowers blanketed the ground in small creamy patches and the trees were tall, their leaves reaching out to provide us much shade us possible. Hiei slowly pushed himself off the tree he had been using to support himself and grunted as pain shot through his abdomen. Staggering, he made his way forward, weaving unsteadily through the trees until he reached a large clearing. About ten meters into the field was a tall dead tree. Its trunk was grey and its branches were completely bare. Hiei smiled gently as he reached out and ran his palm against the leathery bark. 

_Perfect_.

Summoning his strength the demon leapt from branch to branch until he found one he liked. The dark haired man sat down on the thick wood and leaned his back against the trunk, settling in to wait. As time passed his hazy mind slowly but surely drifted to a certain raven haired youth with beautiful chocolate eyes, a perfectly sculpted body and a voice that sent shivers down his spine…Not to mention a brash, cocky attitude that pissed him off to no end.

Yes for a while now Hiei had been in love with his friend and the leader of their little group, Yusuke Urameshi.

It had taken him a long time to realise his feelings and even longer for him to accept them, but once he did he found he couldn't stop thinking about the object of his affections. But with these feelings of love came an inadequacy unlike anything he had ever felt before…But the fire demon suffered alone, knowing that the hanyou would never return his feelings.

Hiei felt the hot sting of tears in the corner of his eyes and for the first time in his life he let them fall without fighting. For the first and last time he would cry…For all he had, all he had lost, and all that he would never know. _He cried…_

_

* * *

_

"_Go Yusuke. Your friend needs you."_ Those were the last words Doctor Lee said before he kicked the three young men out of the hospital. Grumbling, Yusuke led the way out through the automatic sliding doors at the main entrance. Once outside he stopped with a heavy sigh. Things were not going well…

"I don't get it! Why would he run away? I…I thought maybe he'd stay…" Yusuke said quietly, realizing the second the words escaped his mouth just how stupid they were. This was _Hiei_ they were talking about. Hiei was well known for running away from his problems. _I should've known better_, the dark haired man thought. He turned his chocolate eyes to his friends and caught the scarlet haired youkai behind him giving him a piercing look.

"Hiei seemed rather…_upset_ after that little scene you caused in the hospital room earlier." Kurama said. "I realise that he seems somewhat incapable of emotions but we all know that isn't the case…And what you said; _how_ you said it…It really hurt him."

Yusuke felt bile rise up and burn his throat. How could he, of all people, have so easily broken through their friend's stoic façade? Sure Hiei's mask had already been cracking around the edges, obvious in the way the fire demon been interacting with them all recently. And it was all too possible that he had cast it aside completely during the suicide attempt…The dark haired man thought hard about it, and the more he did the sicker he felt. _I'm a horrible fucking person_, Yusuke thought with a grimace. His friend, the man he fucking _loved_, had tried to kill himself and all the hanyou could do was scream at him…If he was in that same situation how would he have felt? God he felt like he was carving his own heart out with a butter knife…

Yusuke shook himself. He didn't have time to mentally torment himself. Instead he used his guilt to steel his resolve. It was just one more reason he _had _to find Hiei. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. He was going to end up in therapy after this whole situation, he just knew it.

"We'd best be fucking quick about this then." Yusuke said darkly. Kurama bowed his head in silent agreement.

"Yes, we should most definitely make haste. I recommend splitting up; we'd have an infinitely better chance of finding Hiei that way."

"Mm. Good idea." The raven haired hanyou agreed. "I'll take that direction," he continued, pointing his thumb over his shoulder, "and head towards the outer city."

"Okay. Kuwabara you should search the inner city, and I'll run out and check the surrounding suburbs. If we haven't found him in two hours' time then we should meet back here and discuss where to go from there." The red headed youko said. Barely sparing a nod for his companions Yusuke turned on his heel and ran off down the street.

Yusuke searched and searched. He looked everywhere for the missing fire demon. He checked roofs, streets, parks galore; anywhere and everywhere the shorter man could possibly be, even if he knew that he wouldn't be there. _Just in case_. Because if there was one thing Yusuke Urameshi took a hundred and fifty percent serious it was his friends. He did his best to think positively and not imagine the worst (and most likely) scenario as he combed the city's outskirts for any sign of his friend. He managed to keep it up for an hour; an hour of fruitlessly running around, before finally stopped for a break. He came to an abrupt halt in the middle of a busy street outside of a grocery store and leant over with his fists resting on his knees, panting for breath.

"Where…the fuck…is he…?" The dark haired man cursed breathlessly, earning himself a dark glare from a mother as she and her young daughter passed him on their way into the store which he pointedly ignored. _Where is he?_ Yusuke had searched his designated area thoroughly and still he had discovered neither hair nor hide of the small fire demon. Thinking of the whereabouts of his friend started something niggling in his brain telling him there was something that he was forgetting. The hanyou ignored it. He rose to full height and took off running once more. As he continued his hunt the niggling persisted, getting stronger and stronger the more time that passed. After ten minutes of the constant harassment he halted once more. With a growl that transformed half way into a light sigh Yusuke finally gave in. Slowly a memory was pulled to the front of his mind.

_The beautiful park with its misshapen cream coloured flowers…Happiness; he had finally realised his feelings for Hiei…He was leaving, walking out of the park and towards the hospital where he'd believed the one he loved still waited…A smell…Something coppery, sweet and salty and bitter all at the same time…_

_Blood…?_ Yusuke wondered. _ Why would I have picked up the scent of blood at the park…?_

Realisation hit him like a ten ton oil tanker. Could it really be…? Could Hiei really be there? The raven haired youth couldn't say for sure but he had a strong feeling that he'd find the fire demon there once more.

The hanyou spun around and dashed off through the streets towards his destination. As he ran a desperate prayer breathed almost silently passed his lips.

"_Please_…Please be okay…Don't let me find him like that…Not again…"

Yusuke slowed as he entered the park grounds. He walked past the picnic area and playground and continued into the deserted reserve. He meandered through the trees and across the empty fields of flowers, stopping to sniff the air every so often. A soft breeze rustled the leaves and pulled gently through Yusuke's hair. The faint scent of blood drifted into his nose, reminding the young man of rusting metal. He knew the source of the coppery liquid had to be somewhere nearby, though sadly his sense of smell wasn't as strong as a lot of other demons' and he'd have to rely on his other senses to find the little fire demon. So the dark haired hanyou walked slowly through the park, his eyes flitting about trying to spot anything out of the ordinary.

"This is _stupid_…" Yusuke whispered to himself as he searched. There was no guarantee that the blood was coming from Hiei. It was more likely that some kid had scraped his knee or a cat had hunted down a bird. It could be anything else, _anyone_ else. He should probably just go-_There!_

Suddenly something red and gleaming caught his attention through a gap in some trees. Before he could even think, the young man rushed forward. He was a mere couple of feet away when his foot kicked an uplifted tree root that sent him tumbling through the foliage. With a breathless "_oof_" the detective hit the ground hard, knocking the precious air from his lungs. Slowly Yusuke picked himself back up and looked around. He was in a large clearing, a field of green and ivory that was surrounded on all sides by forest. Some meters into the glade stood a single tree; dead and barren of leaves it stood proud and tall. Something glistened on the silvery trunk and the dark haired youth stepped closer. A thick trail of dark red blood trickled down the vertical log, eventually flowing down to taint the soil around the base of the tree. Apprehension filled Yusuke and he struggled to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Slowly he allowed his gaze to follow the dark river up the knotted and leathery trunk until his chocolate eyes landed on its source.

There, among the desolate branches, a male with spikey raven hair and porcelain skin was slumped heavily against the trunk of the dying tree. Yusuke's expression changed from trepidation to horror. For the person in the tree was none other than Hiei. The little fire demon's eyes were closed and his face slack as his crimson lifeblood flowed from his limp body and dribbled down the trees silvery bark, staining all it touched ruby red…

* * *

'_I am near you  
You don't see me  
Can you feel me?  
I'm closer than close…_

_Does it hurt?  
Does it burn?  
Do you know  
What you've lost?  
Are you scared of the dark?_

_Now that you're gone  
All that remains  
Is the ghost of love  
Deep in my mind  
I hear the chains  
Of the ghost of love!_

_You are falling  
Down underneath  
You'll be crawling  
Lower than low…_

_Can you sleep?  
Can you breathe?  
When you know  
What you've done?  
Tell me where will you run!_

_Now that you're gone  
All that remains  
Is the ghost of love  
Deep in my mind  
I hear the chains  
Of the ghost of love…!_

_You were flawless  
Cruel and thoughtless  
And all that you left me  
Is the ghost of (love)…_

_I'm fading  
I'm barely breathing  
Can't hold on  
I'm dying  
I must be bleeding  
Won't be long._

_Now that you're gone  
All that remains  
Is the ghost of love  
Deep in my mind  
I hear the chains  
Of the ghost of love…!'_

_Ghost of Love by The Rasmus._

_

* * *

_There we go! I know the chapter isn't quite as interesting as some of the others but I felt that it was necessary. I do hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to the final installment of A Reason to Live. Especially since I left it at such a juicy cliff hanger! Lol I'm so mean...to both my readers and the characters I borrow it seems.

Please continue to read and review! (I really like reviews ^^")

And if anyone knows of a good beta reader I would appreciate it. Right now the only people going over my stories before I publish them on the site is myself and...well myself. And I know that even though I go over it at least three times before putting it up I sometimes still miss mistakes. That and I can't always trust my own judgment on how the characters and scenes play out. So yeah...


	9. Chapter 8: What it is to Love You

HELLO ONCE MORE! Yes I greet you my loyal and far to patient fans. I know this chapter has been a LONG time coming and for that I am so, so sorry. With how busy everything's been and the writer's block as well it has taken me a month longer than I promised to update. That's bad...

And with this long awaited chapter I bring bad news...This...is not the final chapter anymore. I know, I know! But if I had waited and published the whole last part it would have likely been at least 11-12 thousand words! I finally had reached a good place to split it into two. So you have this and the next chapter shall DEFINITELY, 100%, be the LAST ONE! I swear my life upon it!

I'd like to send my deepest gratitude to; Good Omens, Natsume-chan, ILoveKuramaTooMuch and Ichi-can1 for reviewing the last chapter or messaging me. Especially Natsume-chan and ILoveKuramaTooMuch for their much needed support.

Finally I can present to you the eighth installment of A Reason To Live!

...

Disclaimer: Jiiiin! Hiiieiiii! Have I miraculously gained ownership of you or anything to do with Yu Yu Hakusho over the past month?

_Both: In your dreams maybe!_

...Well DANG...

Warnings: This chapter contains some coarse language, minute sexual references, small amounts of gore, a tiny pinch of OOCness (on Hiei's part I'm afraid) and A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD of BOY LOVE and ANGST! But tell me one story I've posted on here that doesn't feature palpable amounts of that good stuff.

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* * *

Chapter 8: What it is to Love You

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...

A light breeze swept through the beautiful glade, playing with the thick carpet of grass and flowers and rustling the trees that surrounded the clearing. The gentle wind pulled its invisible fingers through the un-gelled raven locks of the young man that stood transfixed underneath the single dead tree occupying the otherwise empty field. The man's impossibly wide chocolate eyes stared up in horror at the lifeless body that lay, too still, among the trees barren branches. The haunting scene was only made worse by the silvery trunk that gleamed dark, wet crimson as the shorter male's blood trickled down in a thick red stream.

"_Hiei…_" The name slipped through Yusuke's dry lips like a desperate, despairing prayer. Terror engulfed the dark haired youth, turning the blood in his veins to ice and numbing his body. Sadly it did nothing to lessen the dread that pumped through him.

For it couldn't be true…This couldn't be happening. It wasn't possible that his friend, the man he loved, was…_dead_… The word ripped through Yusuke's heart, the large tear it left bleeding profusely. _No!_ Hiei couldn't be dead, not after he had finally realised his feelings for the other man! Surely the Gods were not _that _cruel…Yet the scene that held his attention seemed to claim otherwise… After all, the fire demon in the tree had lost a lot of blood and he wasn't moving…

Fueled by the fear he felt for the small demon Yusuke jumped up into the tree, coming to rest upon the same branch Hiei was situated on.

Despite the severity of the situation, the hanyou couldn't help but take a moment to observe the hiyoukai in the new light of his feelings. The shorter male's face was even paler than normal; once the flawless skin seemed to glow with an inner flame, now it was a sickly white and his gravity defying raven hair was filled with leaves. With a trembling hand Yusuke reached forward to remove one of the larger leaves and found his palm filled with thick yet soft locks. He pulled his hand back and stared at it in wonder. He never would have guessed that Hiei had such silky hair… Yusuke's chocolate eyes turned back to his friend, carefully examining the demon's face as though it was his last chance to do so.

_This __**is**__ my last chance…_Yusuke thought. _Hiei's dead… _Tears gathered in his eyes as he ran his gaze over Hiei's still features. His small, cute nose. His full lips, usually reminiscent of soft pink blossoms, were now almost as colourless as his face. Thick dark lashes stubbornly hid piercing ruby eyes. Bile rose in the hanyou's throat as he thought about how those beautiful eyes would now be dull, empty of the fire that had always burned within them.

The tears that had blurred his vision fell, burning a blazing trail down Yusuke's tan cheeks. _How is this fair?_ He wondered. How could Spirit World justify taking away the fire demon's life? Taking away Yusuke's heart?

A slight movement caught the dark haired man's attention, banishing all thoughts from his mind. Yusuke stared in amazement, his metaphorical heart slowly mending as Hiei's black tank rose gently, lifted by the small yet muscular chest hidden beneath it.

"Ha!" A short happy yell burst from the detective's throat and a large smile spread across his face, threatening to split it in half. Hiei was alive! He was breathing, he wasn't dead! Yusuke was so happy he almost felt like bursting into dance…_almost_. He ignored the urge, instead stretching out his arm he fondly brushed the shorter man's bangs away from the ward that hid his Jagan eye.

"How many times are you gonna scare the life outta me?" Yusuke whispered, his smile softening.

He reluctantly dragged his hand back but froze when he felt the appendage brush against something warm…_and wet_. He glanced down. His bare arm was pressed lightly against Hiei's abdomen and the other man's black tank was soaked causing it to cling to the washboard abs underneath. A frown marred the hanyou's face as he gripped the hem of the sodden piece of clothing and lifted it up over Hiei's chest. Yusuke grimaced. The ivory skin he loved so much was barely visible under a layer of crimson that continued to well up from the large hole in the demon's stomach where he had obviously torn his stitches. Worry rose in the conscious man, blending with his previous joy.

Yes, Hiei was alive…but for how long? He had no idea how much blood the male demon had lost; though judging by the red liquid burning a thick trail down the tree trunk, it was no small amount. All he did know was that his friend was in desperate need of medical attention and he had to get him back to the hospital as soon as possible. He also knew that Hiei wouldn't like it in the least.

_Well too bad,_ thought Yusuke. He didn't care if he suffered the short-tempered demon's wrath as long as Hiei was alive to exact the punishment. Yusuke took a second to stop the dirty thoughts that invaded his mind at that. After a minute he leant forward, wary of the none-too-thick branch they were on, and slowly pulled the man he loved into his arms. It was an awkward process and he almost lost his balance several times but after a few moments of struggling he finally held the small body securely in his grip; one hand under his knees and the other pressing possessively on his back, the spikey haired man's head resting comfortably on Yusuke's white clad chest. Yusuke peered down at the ground several meters below and worried his lip between his teeth. It was quite far down and if he jumped he risked hurting the man in his arms, especially if he stumbled when he landed. But…

_There's no other way down_, Yusuke thought, eyeing the tree itself with narrow brown eyes. If he wanted to climb he'd need his hands, both of which were full, and there was no way he'd be able to leap down branch by branch. _Nothing else for it then._ With one last worried glance at Hiei the raven haired detective jumped from the tree, landing heavily on his feet a few seconds later and doing his best not to jostle the unconscious male in his arms any more than necessary. The pressure pushed Yusuke down on one knee and he swallowed a cry of pain (_"You're supposed to roll when you hit the ground, dumb ass!" His old gym teacher used to yell at him when he did that in class_). He waited a minute for the jarring pain to ebb away before rising with a relieved sigh. The hanyou glanced around and spotted the tops of the skyscrapers over some of the trees.

"Right." Yusuke whispered to himself. "If I go that way, once I get out of here I'll be able to find my way to the hospital." He turned towards the city and started to walk but barely got more than a few steps before the youkai he held in his arms stirred. He halted immediately and turned his full attention to the wounded fire demon. A slight groan escaped Hiei's lips and his eyes fluttered open, slowly revealing tired ruby eyes.

"_Ngh_…Yu…Yusuke…?"

* * *

Wakefulness gradually graced Hiei with its presence, even though he shied away from it. He tried to ignore consciousness and return to the blissful darkness but it eluded him. The dark haired demon resisted the urge to sigh in disappointment. He was so weary despite the fact that he had been sleeping for…The tiniest of frowns puckered at his brow.

_How long have I been asleep? And why am I so warm?_ Hiei wondered. He couldn't feel the rough texture of bark against his back as he normally did when he awoke, instead his head was resting on something warm and hard and he was incredibly comfortable. It was…unusual. Not that he didn't like it; it was a far better way to be greeted than a cold, damp treetop, but… A quiet yet unmistakably familiar voice reached his ears and rumbled through the chest his head was pressed against.

_Chest…?_ Still half asleep, Hiei slowly became aware of the fact that the pillow he was using was actually a muscular torso and he was being cradled by a pair of very strong arms. His frown deepened and he shifted in that grip, blinking blearily. Bright crimson opened to meet with warm chocolate.

"_Ngh_…Yu…Yusuke…?" He muttered, his deep voice quiet and hoarse. Despite the blurriness of his vision he could easily tell it was the detective. He'd know his love anywhere. The man in question gave him a small, almost nervous smile.

"Hey Hiei. How are you feeling?" He asked concern obvious in his voice and his eyes.

How was he feeling? Well if the fire demon was honest he felt abnormally heavy, almost leaden, and his abdomen burned like the fires of hell had come to live in his stomach. Of course he didn't tell Yusuke that.

"I'm…fine." He replied. Hiei twisted in his friend's grip, taking in his surroundings before returning his questioning ruby gaze to the other man.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his expression one of confusion. Yusuke avoided the demon's eyes and tightened his hold on him.

"I'm taking you back to the hospital." He said finally, starting to walk towards the city once more. Hiei's blood red eyes widened before narrowing dangerously.

"_Put. Me. Down. Now_." He demanded, his voice low.

Yusuke knew that being stubborn in a situation like this could get him seriously injured. Hiei wasn't known as one of the most dangerous demons in the Makai for nothing. Yet despite this he insisted on playing with fire. He felt the small body tense in his arms, heard his final heartbeats in the words that whispered like poisoned chocolate. Still he refused to back down.

"_No_." He replied. The second those two letters escaped his lips all previous tranquility went to hell.

Hiei fought desperately to escape Yusuke's grasp. The feisty youkai kicked, punched and clawed at the raven haired detective, shouting while he attempted to wriggle free.

"LET ME GO!" He yelled, pushing and scratching at his friend's chest. Yusuke winced as the sharp nails drew welts into his skin underneath his shirt.

"Hey! _Ow_! Hiei, stop it!" He tried in vain to halt the fire demon's struggles. Said demon glared up at him fiercely.

"You stop!" Hiei shouted, fighting harder in the spirit detective's clutches; arms, legs and fists flailing.

"Hiei…Stop…struggling! We have to –_oof!_ …get you back to the hospit –_AH, FUCK!_"

Yusuke did his best in spite of the thrashings of the shorter man to keep his hold, to keep him from falling, but when a tightly clenched fist met forcefully with his jaw he fumbled, dazed, his grip on his wounded friend loosening. The spikey haired male fell with a startled yelp that mutated into an agonized hiss when his back connected heavily with the ground. Yusuke's mouth hung open and he stared unmoving for a moment before immediately shoving aside the pain in his jaw and kneeling, fussing over the small demon.

"Ah man, I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to…A-Are you okay? You hurt-_not_ _hurt_ more?" His fearful words tumbled out, too fast for his tongue to keep up. Earth brown eyes and clumsy hands traveled over pale skin, trying to discern if the other was injured, trying to help. Open, calloused palms and a bestial snarl shoved Yusuke away.

"_Leave me alone_!" The hiyoukai glared at him furiously, though Yusuke caught glimpses of hurt and fear in those beautiful red orbs as well. The detective pushed himself up from his place on the ground and returned to Hiei's side, gently wrapping an arm around the fire demon's middle.

"No." He said softly helping lift the youkai to his feet, mindful of the hole in his abdomen. "I'm not going anywhere." _Ever again_, he promised mentally.

The fire demon snorted derisively as he extracted himself from Yusuke's grasp and limped back a few steps, putting some distance between them.

"Forgive me if I don't believe that." He muttered, bitterness lacing his tone. Yusuke's brow furrowed in pain and confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked, hurt by his unspoken love's angry and distrustful words. Blood coloured slits pierced him with an accusing glare that the hanyou swore he felt stab straight through his heart.

"I wasn't the one who ran away from the scene you caused earlier in that ningen infested medical center, _you_ were! So forgive me if I find it hard to believe you." The fire demon spat sullenly. A familiar sickness rose in the dark haired hanyou, leaving a bitter taste in the back of his throat. He felt horrible about his actions earlier that day, but he'd pushed aside the guilt before to focus solely on finding his missing group member. Now it returned with a vengeance, its searing black flames licking his insides and tormenting him. Seeing the affect his words had…seeing them drive Hiei further from him…it just made it even worse, even more unbearable.

"I…I'm sorry about earlier. Really I am. I didn't mean what I said…_Any of it_." Yusuke admitted with a heavy sigh, his voice shaky. "I was just so…_angry_…And I couldn't handle it, couldn't stop it, so I ran off…Not that that's any excuse. I was…" He sighed again and looked into the beautiful red eyes that captured him, heart and soul every time, and gave a small guilty smile. "I was an idiot."

The crimson orbs wrinkled around the edges and Hiei snorted in hesitant amusement.

"It's certainly not the first time I'd accuse you of being such." He teased, his voice both angry and playful, referring to the taller man's confession of idiocy. Yusuke chuckled weakly in agreement but as the sound slowly disappeared an awkward silence rose up in its place, both men trying and failing to find the right words. They would turn to the other, mouth open but no sound would escape.

Finally Hiei exhaled loudly and turned, glancing unsurely at the hanyou from the corner of his almond eyes.

"So…Why _did _you run away?" He asked eventually. His deep voice sounded nonchalant but underneath he was scared…scared of the answer he may receive. Yusuke sighed once more and ran a calloused hand over his face, trying to think how he could possibly explain the true reason he had desperately sprinted away from the hospital like the hounds of hell were snapping at his heels.

"I had to take some time out…to think, to sort through some stuff." He said vaguely, trying to hide the pale blush that spread across his tan cheeks as his mind returned to his earlier epiphany. The fire demon, to Yusuke's eternal gratitude, remained oblivious to the taller man's discomfort.

"Well that'd be a first." The youkai commented with a sexy-as-hell smirk that made the hanyou's heart flip. The raven haired man, still reeling, glowered halfheartedly at the small demon.

"Ha-ha, very funny." He grumbled. "Contrary to popular belief; I _do_ have a brain and I _do_ use it…Sometimes." Hiei couldn't hold in a chuckle at his self-depreciating statement and Yusuke relished in the low, warm sound that briefly washed over him.

"What is it you were thinking about?" Hiei asked, gently cocking his head to the side and looking up at him with his large almond shaped eyes filled with curiosity. The orbs caught Yusuke's own and ensnared him and he knew, no matter how much he resisted he would never be able to deny the owner of those sparkling rubies anything. Which was bad because at that moment right then he really, really wanted to tell him it was private and end the conversation at that. A deep, heavy sigh escaped his lips and he stared off into a scene only he could see.

"I was…_confused_. I was so stressed out I couldn't make heads nor tails of my emotions. I had already started taking my frustrations out on you and so I left before I could say or do something even more stupid. I walked and walked and ended up…well I ended up here actually. I relaxed on the grass and just took a little time to get back under control and sort myself out. That's how I found you." He confessed, coming out of his reverie to shoot the other male a small grin.

"What do you mean?" Hiei asked, frowning.

"After I had cooled down and _'figured myself out'_, as it was, I started back towards the hospital. But before I left…I caught a familiar scent…" Yusuke's face hardened as the soft breeze wafted the same coppery smell into his nose once more.

"The blood…" The demon mumbled lowly, realisation quickly dawning on him. Yusuke nodded, confirming the shorter man's suspicions.

"Bingo." He said, borrowing one of Botan's favourites but with significantly less enthusiasm. "I ignored it at first and just went on my way but it came back to me while…while I was looking for you." His chocolate eyes glowed with unnamable emotions as he locked them with Hiei's wide rubies. "I'd already searched everywhere; I didn't have anything to lose so I came back and…and there you were." The raven haired hanyou pushed away the image that seemed to have tattooed itself on the insides of his eyelids, of Hiei limp and bloody in the tree's embrace. _He's not dead!_ He reminded himself fiercely. _And he never was so just stop!_

"Why?" Once again the youkai's voice penetrated his mind, chasing all other thoughts back into the recesses of his mind. Yusuke glanced up, meeting the other male's narrowed crimson gaze. The hanyou felt his own brow furrow in response.

"Why what?" He asked, unsure of what was being asked of him. The spikey haired demon shook his head in frustration.

"Why were you looking for me?" He reiterated, obviously confused by the other's actions.

Yusuke hated the look of disbelief on Hiei's delicately featured face. Hated that the fire demon honestly couldn't comprehend the fact that people worried about him, _cared about him_! It was about time that battle-sharpened mind of his realised that he wasn't alone…not anymore.

"Because I-_we_ care about you. And no matter where you go or why…I will _always_ come and find you." He promised, trying to convey through his words and his serious brown eyes just how much he meant to him. "Even when you don't want me to." He added with a soft smile.

Right away he knew that he'd said the right thing. A rosy blush rose in the hiyoukai's pale cheeks and his eyes widened comically. He quickly turned his face away from his companion in a vain attempt to hide how flustered he was.

"H-Hn. F-figures as much." He stammered. Yusuke bit back his laughter as he watched the normally stoic demon squirm in embarrassment. _How did I ever manage ignore my feelings for such a cutie?_ He wondered with a silly smile on his face as he drunk in the rare sight.

The wind picked up again, blowing through the glade, chilling the boys through they're shirts and lifting the scent of blood up to the spirit detective's nose once more. Its effect was immediate, the dark haired man sobering swiftly.

"So how did you…" He asked nervously, gesturing vaguely towards Hiei's still bleeding abdomen.

"I didn't do it on purpose if that's what you mean." Hiei snapped indignantly. Yusuke closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, unable hold back the sigh of relief that escaped him. He didn't realise just how scared he'd been about that before then. He opened his eyes and locked them onto the other male, confusion swirling in their depths.

"Then how?" The fire youkai's blush returned and he shifted uncomfortable under Yusuke's questioning gaze. The silence slowly stretched out from seconds into minutes.

"Well?" The hanyou prodded after a while.

"_Fine!_ I reopened the wound while I was running away from the Kami-forsaken place you call a hospital, okay?" Hiei spat, glowering. "I was passing through here when it happened so I jumped up into the tree to wait."

"So why won't you come back to the hospital? They can fix it back up again in no time." Yusuke asked hopefully, pointing his thumb back towards the just visible city that glowed in the warm orange light of the slowly setting sun. The demon's blood red eyes narrowed further still.

"Would _you_ want to be there?" His deep voice was scathing. Yusuke faltered; he hadn't thought of it that way. It was true, if he could get out of it, he too would avoid the overpopulated medical facilities like the plague. He had foolishly assumed that Hiei's only reason for leaving was his desire for death. He never would have guessed that the other man, like himself, simply hated hospitals and doctors as well.

"Well…no." He agreed sheepishly. "But you should still go back. I mean you've lost a lot of blood and you need proper medical attention."

"Hn. What should I care?" Hiei sneered. As is well recorded, love isn't all fluff and roses and Hiei's thorny words pricked Yusuke's soul. The hanyou glanced away and bit his lip, trying to hide the soul deep hurt and the fear in his eyes. He wanted so much just to grab the other man and shake some sense into him! Make him see that even if he didn't care, Yusuke and the rest of their friends did! And after that he wanted to take the small demon into his arms and never let him go, never let him even _think_ such horrible, heart breaking thoughts ever again. But sadly he did neither. Instead he turned his morose chocolate eyes to the demon and asked the question that had been buzzing around his head since the traumatizing events of the night before.

"Why?" He asked, imploring the other man with his eyes to just answer him, just put him out of his misery. Hiei looked at him as if he was acting like an annoying fool, which while definitely not unheard of was certainly not the case now.

"I thought we'd already covered that not one minute ago." He said with a raised brow.

"No, I meant _why_? Why did you try to commit suicide? _Really_." This time Yusuke didn't follow the question with anger and accusations. This time he stood there patiently, staring imploringly into the shorter male's blood red eyes. And he waited.

Hiei fell silent, shock written across his delicate features. _Should I tell him?_ He wondered mentally. _Should I tell him…that I love him? No, definitely not. But…Maybe…maybe I could tell him the rest. Maybe he'll understand…_

"…I…I realised the truth." He said finally, his voice low and soft. The detective frowned in bewilderment at the response he received. His brown eyes searched the demon's expression for any clues, but all he found was sadness and defeat there on the face he had grown to adore.

"What do you mean? What truth?" He asked, still confused. Hiei's full lips pulled down at the corners and his fangs gently worried the muscle between their sharp points. His eyes rose and ensnared Yusuke with their large liquid depths filled with pain.

"I realised…how horrible a person I am…" The fire youkai frowned for a moment. "No, that's not right… I always knew…I just never realised how much…how much I actually cared." Yusuke's heart screamed in frustration, yearning to both comfort and beat up Hiei at the same time. How could he think like that about himself? He had never thought of the demon like that; as someone evil or unpleasant, even when the demon had kidnapped Keiko. And he never would have imagined that Hiei thought that way about himself.

"What are you talking about? You're a demon. You're different, Hiei, but you're _not_ a bad person." The dark haired man said quietly. Hiei chuckled weakly.

"No Yusuke. I'm…_unwholesome_ even by demon standards." Yusuke, ignoring the tingles he felt just hearing Hiei say his name, shook his head, not able to believe the words escaping his friend and love's mouth.

"No…You're not." He whispered his voice comforting and firm, wanting to prove to the other male just how wrong he was.

"_Yes, I am_!" The hiyoukai shouted, his crimson eyes narrowing and his face screwing up in anger and agony as his defenses crumbled. Yusuke knew then and there he would never be able to wash that image from his memory. "I've done terrible things, things that would make even the great Yusuke Urameshi's blood run cold. I've _murdered_ people; slit their throats without mercy, guilt or hesitation! My hands are forever stained by blood and that is something I can _never_ change!"

"You're wrong." Those two words, spoken with quiet passion, shocked Hiei to his core.

"I think you do regret what you've done. If you didn't feel guilty about killing some of those people then you wouldn't feel so bad about yourself now." The spirit detective continued, stepping in closer. "You're not a bad person Hiei. You've just made some rather bad mistakes…We all have."

"…It's different." The spikey haired demon said after a long moment of silence.

"How?" Yusuke demanded. He could feel his patience starting to slip through his fingers like grains of sand down at the beach, slowly falling out of his reach.

"It just is!" Hiei snapped in response, pulling away both physically and emotionally from the one person he wanted to reach out to more than anything.

"Argh!" The taller of the two growled in frustration. "Why do you _always_ do this?" He yelled, flinging his arm out to point vaguely at the other man. "Why is it as soon as we get close to you, you jerk away? I try to understand and you shut me out!"

Inwardly Hiei cringed. Yusuke was right. But he couldn't help it. In his mind they were both standing on the edge of a gaping chasm, he on one side and Yusuke on the other. They could see each other, hear the words the other had to say, but they could never cross it…_He_ could never cross the gap that separated them…It was his torturous fate to be with the man he loved but never actually _be_ with him, with any of those that he dared to call friend.

"Let it go, detective." He said with a shaky sigh. He cast his ruby eyes down, avoiding the heated chocolate gaze that glared at him with anger and disbelief.

"No, I'm not backing off on this! You can't keep pushing away the people who care about you!" Yusuke growled stubbornly.

"It doesn't matter because you can't care for me! _No one can_!" Hiei's eyes slammed shut as he shouted out that which had been taught to him repeatedly since his birth.

"Why?" Yusuke had never been so confused in all his life and his mind whirred, trying and failing to make sense of everything.

"_Because I'm a Forbidden Child_!" The distraught hiyoukai continued. He didn't want to feel the invisible chains the title had cuffed to his wrists but their weight pulled his soul down, down, down into the darkness where there was no light save for a small dying candle. Underneath his tough-as-nails exterior this small flame of hope had always flickered, desperately wishing that the curse of his existence was wrong. _But_…

"I'm a Forbidden child." He choked. "The result of the sinful joining of fire and ice…_Cursed!_ My heart is as frozen as the lands in which I was born and cast from. Forever cursed to walk the three worlds in blood…_Alone_. No one to love, no one to love me…_Worthless_…I…I was never meant to exist…" Hiei tried so hard to stop the tears that welled up hotly in his eyes. _Figures_, he thought. He shut his eyes tightly against the liquid invaders. Tears would do him no good. He was so focused on fighting back the salty drops he was startled when the other man finally spoke.

"Well no matter what you think…_I'm_ glad you exist…" Yusuke's simple words said so matter-of-factly stunned Hiei. His eyes opened and he turned them onto the taller male, confused. For why would anyone be happy about his existence? Why would Yusuke, why would anyone, want him around?

"Why?"

Yusuke felt his heart swell painfully in his chest as he stared into those wide almond eyes, their ruby depths glistening with unshed tears. And those three letters… a single word whispered so brokenly, so full of disbelief, as if it were inconceivable that he should mean anything to someone. He could have replied with a million different reasons; his beautiful crimson eyes, his full pink lips, the way amusement would dance almost teasingly in his eyes when he was happy, how his laughter warmed Yusuke more than the most searing flames of hell ever could, that just being in the same room as him made him feel so content as if just in that moment everything was perfect, because he loved him…But when he opened his mouth to speak none of those things came out.

"Because you're _you_, Hiei. I don't give a shit about some 'Forbidden Child'…I care about _you_."

Hiei blushed. The tone in the hanyou's voice, so warm and honest, left him little room to doubt that Yusuke meant it. He turned his face from the other man as his cheeks slowly burnt into a deeper shade of pink. He cared for him…but as a friend. His heart, already littered with scars, bled once more. He'd already known that Yusuke did not, could not love him. But like always it still hurt.

"But not the way I wish you would…" Hiei whispered under his breath so Yusuke wouldn't hear.

"…What do you mean by that?" Yusuke's voice cut into his thoughts, low and incredulous. Hiei froze. Surely he hadn't actually heard. Maybe if he just ignored him…

"Hiei…What did you mean by that just now?" The other man asked. _Fuck!_ The demon swore silently. _So much for that…_

"Hiei..." Yusuke prodded once more. Hiei growled. He knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.

"_I'm in love with you_!" He yelled, the confession bursting free from his lips and out into the open. Silence fell and the spikey haired man peered across the see the spirit detective standing there, his mouth agape and his eyes wide. Hiei's heart fell into his stomach. _How could I have been so stupid?_

"Damn it…" The youkai snarled, angry at himself for condemning any chance he had to be close in any way to the man he loved. "I'm in love with you but I knew you could never love me back so I kept it to myself…I shouldn't have opened my mouth." Ruby met wide chocolate eyes and Hiei sighed. "I'm sorry…" The fire demon slowly turned to walk away._ Rejected_…_humiliated_…

"I'm not." Yusuke's voice rang out through glade from behind him. Hiei stopped mid-step and twisted around with confusion written across his too pale face. The dark haired young man hadn't moved an inch, but his expression had changed from one of absolute shock to one that could almost be described as…loving?

"What?" Hiei wondered aloud. Yusuke's previously small, fond smile widened.

"I'm not sorry." The hanyou said cheerfully. His grin fell for a moment. "Well actually I am…" His chocolate gaze travelled back to stare meaningfully into the demon's crimson eyes. "Earlier, when you asked me why I ran out on you at the hospital, I didn't tell you the whole truth." Hiei frowned, thinking back.

"So…you weren't thinking?" He asked, confused as to why the spirit detective would lie about something as inconsequential as that. The detective in question shook his head.

"No, I was." Hiei's brow furrowed further and Yusuke sighed heavily, the smile slipping from his face completely. "I was so fucking scared when you pulled that stunt last night…You have no idea how bad…When I saw the sword…I…I swore I could feel it piercing my heart instead. I'd never felt so terrified…so lost…And I didn't even know why! I was so confused and I guess I just lost it. So I ran away." The young man looked about the glade with glazed eyes. "When I came here to think it was to sort out my feelings…And I came to realise something."

"What?" Hiei whispered. His heart was beating its way frantically up and into his throat at the same time that it was free falling into his stomach. _Dare I even hope…? _

Yusuke turned his warm amber orbs onto the anxious fire youkai. He allowed himself a minute to take in the small yet muscular demon from his powerful legs to his unnaturally spikey hair. He stared straight into the sparkling ruby eyes that had haunted his every waking moment for the past 24 hours and smiled mischievously.

"You really want to know?" He asked lowly, unable to keep the smirk off his face. The shorter man nodded hesitantly. He motioned the demon forward.

"Come closer…A little more…Good." He said, satisfied once there was but a ruler's length between them.

"Now…Close your eyes." Hiei's brow puckered lightly as he eyed the hanyou suspiciously but allowed his eyelids to fall, brushing thick dark lashes against ivory cheeks. Yusuke's heart beat ferociously fast in his chest as his gaze travelled the face of the beautiful creature before him, trusting him as he had never trusted anyone before. He knew he held the fire demon's heart in his hands and now that he had it he didn't plan on ever letting it go. He stared at the full pink lips that called to his own like a siren's cry. Responding to the call he slowly leant forward and pressed his dry lip's against Hiei's. He felt the bow shaped muscles part in a silent surprised gasp and used the chance to slip his tongue past the other man's defenses and into the welcoming cavern.

Hiei's heart exploded in his chest the second he felt Yusuke's lightly chapped lips capture his own in a passionate kiss. Eagerly he leant into the kiss, even going so far as to wrap his arms around the raven haired youth's neck. It was heaven. _I can't believe this is happening_, he thought as their lips moved together in a fierce dance. Of course, all good things must come to an end and to the hiyoukai's great disappointment they eventually had to part to allow air back into their oxygen-starved lungs.

"I love you too, Hiei." Yusuke confessed breathlessly, tightening his grip on the amazed demon.

Hiei could scarcely believe it. After all this time, so sure that no one could ever love him, let alone Yusuke…And yet here he stood, held tight in the dark haired man's strong arms as they both confessed their mutual feelings for each other. Happiness bubbled up inside him, slowly stretching his lips into a large smile.

Yusuke felt what little breath was left in his body escape when he saw Hiei's face break into a wide smile. In all the years he had known the man he had never seen him smile like that; so honest and true. It was the most beautiful sight he'd ever laid eyes on. But as quickly as it appeared it faded, replaced by grimace.

"What about that girl?" The demon queried, suddenly tense in Yusuke's embrace. The detective frowned, unsure of whom the other was talking about.

"What girl?" He asked, confused.

"That human female…I believe you call her Keiko?" Hiei reiterated with a pointed look.

_Of course_, Yusuke thought. He didn't need to ask what the spikey haired youkai meant by that, after all, he and Keiko had been considered 'a couple' by the group for many a year now. Since Hiei didn't know the true nature of Yusuke's relationship with Keiko he could understand the sudden concern. He leant down and laid a chaste kiss on Hiei's pursed lips.

"You don't need to worry. Keiko and I…I admit I thought I had feelings for her once but I realised a long time ago that I could only ever like her as a friend. I don't love her…not the way I love you." The dark haired youth explained. Hiei relaxed in his grip once more, as did the fire demon's face.

"Hn, good." He said with a curt nod. Before silence could settle upon the darkening glade once more Hiei's deep voice sounded again. "_So_…what does this make us now?" The shorter male asked, biting his lip subtly. He held little experience in matters of the heart, intimate relationships the least of all. Hiei didn't want to admit it but he was running blind, looking to Yusuke to lead him through the darkness, trusting him not to let him fall.

The unexpected question threw the hanyou for a loop. In all the drama he hadn't actually given any thought as to what would happen _after _he confessed his feelings for Hiei…Though in his defense, he didn't think there would _be_ an after. He never believed in a million years that the small, stoic demon would return his feelings, let alone let him go unscathed! He carefully turned the query over in his mind.

"Hmm…Well I guess this would make us b-boyfriends." He said finally, blushing lightly at the title. Hiei gently cocked his head.

"Boyfriends?" He asked, ruby eyes shining with curiosity. Yusuke had to refrain from palming his face.

_I should have realised this…_He thought. After all it was not a secret that Hiei wasn't exactly _fond _of the Human World and was often oblivious to their terms and slang. He racked his brain for a way to explain it to the youkai.

"A boyfriend is what you call someone you're…courting. Like before you become mates in Demon World. So you'd be free to move in…with me…and we'd express out love emotionally, verbally…_physically_…" _Don't go there…Do NOT go there!_ The young man chanted in his mind, trying to distract himself from his more impure thoughts.

Hiei's cheeks reddened dramatically and he halfheartedly punched Yusuke's abdomen, still causing the wind to be knocked from the halfling.

"P-pervert!" He growled, pulling out of the other man's hold completely as Yusuke choked, trying to regain his unanticipated missing breath. Hiei's blush deepened further and he shifted awkwardly a few feet away, keeping his gaze firmly on the vanilla flowers that dusted the ground throughout the park.

"…I'd like that." He whispered, words barely audible. Yusuke looked up as the almost silent declaration breezed pass his ear. He smiled as he caught sight of the demon's shy expression.

"I'd like that too." He agreed, straightening out to his full height. "But before we get to any of that, _you _have to return to the hospital. We can't do anything if you die of blood loss." He said jokingly. His brown eyes watched, amusement dancing in their honey depths, as Hiei's eye twitched. Yusuke's chuckles echoed around the clearing, making Hiei's heart dance. He blushed at his own reaction and crossed his bare arms across his still damn chest with a huff.

"Fine, I'll go back with you. Happy now?" The normally composed demon let out a shocked yelp as he was abruptly swept off his feet and up into Yusuke's arms bridal style.

"Yep_, very_!" The spirit detective beamed cockily. Hiei's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red if that was possible as the taller man cuddled him.

"W-what on earth are you doing?" He shouted angrily as Yusuke started to walk out of the peaceful glade with him still held tight in those strong arms. The hanyou smiled widely, enjoying himself far too much.

"You're injured." He stated simply. "Now what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk _all that way_ in your condition?" Hiei could hear the sarcasm practically dripping from the other male's voice but was thrown off by how casually he called him his boyfriend; as though they'd been doing this for years rather than minutes. And jokes aside, he couldn't help but think of Yusuke's protectiveness as…_ugh, I'll have to purify my brain for this_…sweet.

"Hn. Fine." He grumbled, face still stained a soft pink. A large yawn worked its way passed his lips and he allowed his head to rest upon his new _boyfriend's_ muscular chest. Already he felt sleep starting to creep up on him. "Just don't…get used…to…this…" He mumbled, each word slurring more than the last as he drifted off, safe in Yusuke's embrace.

Yusuke heard Hiei's breathing even out and looked down, his shit-eating grin softening into a fond smile as he watched the hiyoukai, painfully innocent in sleep. He lifted the demon up and gently pressed his lips to Hiei's ivory forehead.

"Sleep well…_Love_…"

...

* * *

...

'_When I see your smile  
Tears roll down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one…_

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_It's okay… It's okay... It's okay…  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one…_

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_Cuz you're my… you're my… my… my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay… .Stay!_

_Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning grey (grey)!_

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!'  
_

_Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus._

_...  
_

* * *

And there it is! Took me forever and I'm still not 100% happy with it. It seems almost a little fast and maybe one day I'll rewrite this chapter (and it'll double in length lol), but for now this is the very best I could come up with. I hope it's enough.

And yes I'm sorry about Hiei's OOCness. I tried to keep him in character as much as possible but I don't believe I succeeded.

Anyway please tell me what you think, what could use improving, anything like that! And do continue to read and review for the next chapter WILL be the last. XD


	10. Epilogue: A Heart's First Steps

Hello my readers! I bet this is a surprise! I realise it's been about two and a half months now since I last updated and for that I'm sorry. Anyone who's followed me for any amount of time would know that whenever I lose inspiration on a story I just...stop writing. So I am very sorry. I spent the last two days sitting here rereading and typing away. So I sincerely hope it's worth it.

I've also posted a poll asking people which of my ideas (as I've suddenly been hounded by plot bunnies) they would like to read most, including the option of a sequel for A Reason to Live. So if you're interested check it out and vote.

It's amazing though. This story, without the lyrics or my ramblings, is 35,000 words long! For me that's just phenomenal! Anyway I realise this is probably very boring for you so onwards to the acknowledgments!

I'd like to thank Good Omens, Ichi-chan1, DarkDragonDreamer, JCRazors, Natsume-chan and a very special thanks to ILoveKuramaTooMuch! Sorry for my slacking. =(

...

Disclaimer: Yeah I fought hard these past months but my efforts amounted to nothing. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the lyrics listed here. All I own is the plot and Doctor Lee, the ever smiling surgeon. XD

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing, trace amounts of angst and Hiei/Yusuke love!

...

* * *

Epilogue: The Heart's First Steps

* * *

...

Evening was falling slowly over the city, the setting sun bathing the land in bright oranges and yellows and casting long shadows on the ground. Outside of the hospital the peaceful late afternoon was disturbed by the loud grumblings of one Kazuma Kuwabara. The tall red haired man was leaning against the pole of a parking sign griping loudly, drawing dark looks from people passing by.

"_Damn it_!" He yelled, his rough voice cutting through the air and shocking the hospital's clients as they walked to and from the large building. "He's late! Where the hell could he be?" His shorter companion, standing quietly nearby, sighed and shook his head at his friend's impatience.

"Give him time, Kuwabara." He said calmly, his voice sliding like silk into the ears of any nearby. "With any luck he'll have succeeded where we have failed." Kuwabara snorted, pushing himself forcefully from the metal pole.

"Finding that shorty is like trying to find a needle in a haystack!" He shouted, running a large hand through his gelled coppery locks in his frustration. Kurama sighed once more.

"True as that may be, we have to try to stay positive. Believing our friends will return shortly is better than the alternative…" The scarlet haired youko whispered, his face downcast. Kuwabara regretted his careless words the instant his grey eyes caught his friend's expression. The youth looked away awkwardly, unsure of what to say to comfort the distraught demon. As his gaze travelled across the landscape he caught sight of a familiar figure walking up the path towards them. A large, hopeful smile split his thin face.

"Hey! Hey, look! It's Urameshi!" He crowed. Kurama's head whipped in the direction the human was pointing, the sight causing his emerald eyes to light up.

"And he's got Hiei!" He cheered. His legs moved of their own accord, racing him towards his team mates, Kuwabara's footsteps pounding against the pavement just behind him. Their dark haired friend looked exhausted but smiled nonetheless as they came to a halt in front of him a hundred meters from the hospital premises.

"Hey guys." He greeted quietly, his chocolate eyes tired but happy. Kuwabara growled at him.

"_You punk_! You're over an hour late!" He yelled, though still thoroughly relieved at his best friend's appearance. The hanyou shushed him with a stern glare and a pointed glance at their unconscious companion. The look quickly disappeared, replaced by his usual cocky smirk.

"Don't tell me you were worried Kuwabara. Aw, I'm touched." Yusuke teased, giggling as he barely moved to dodge the taller man's punch, careful to avoid jostling the sleeping Hiei.

"Well…anything could have happened, okay? Doesn't hurt to be careful…" The human grumbled defensively. Kurama quickly stepped in before the two could start bickering.

"Is he…?" He asked, turning his worried green eyes onto the comatose fire demon held tight in Yusuke's arms. The spirit detective smiled, momentarily soothing the youko's concern.

"He fell asleep on the way back. He'll be fine once we get another blood transfer into him." He said dismissively. The soft smile Yusuke spared for the smallest member of the group went unnoticed as Kurama's eyes hardened, pinning Yusuke in a questioning glare.

"_Blood transfer_?" He asked, his lilting voice sharp. Yusuke nodded.

"Yeah. He ripped his stitches when he ran away and he's lost a fair bit of blood. _So_ _if you two don't mind…_" He hinted, nodding in the direction of the hospital. The two red heads instantly stepped to the side, muttering their apologies.

"Thank you." The young man smiled in gratitude and started past.

A sense of déjà vu washed over him as just like always his team mates fell into step behind him, the same way they did when they would go to battle. Even though those times seemed like a lifetime ago, made distant by the traumatizing events of the past 24 hours, Yusuke felt comforted by the familiar actions. Steeling themselves for anything that the nightmare might yet have for them the four entered the hospital once more.

The trios' footsteps tapped loudly against the foyers tile floor, the automated doors sliding shut behind them with a _whoosh_. Yusuke's gaze traversed the large space, ignoring the shocked stares from the room's occupants. _Well doesn't this ring some bells…_he thought, remembering the similar scene from the night before. Finally his determined chocolate eyes landed on the frumpy woman behind the counter. The hanyou strode up to the front desk and cleared his throat, successfully gaining the middle aged woman's attention. The receptionist pulled a long-suffering face and removed her attention from the novel she had been reading. Her dull brown eyes rose to meet Yusuke's and she frowned.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She drawled in a croaky whine, eyeing the dark haired man over the rims of her thin rectangular glasses. Yusuke resisted the urge to rudely inform the woman that he wouldn't have bothered talking to her if he thought she couldn't and nodded in affirmation.

"Yes actually. I'm returning a patient of Doctor Lee's and it would make my life a lot easier if you could call him down here or give us directions to his office or whatever." The woman frowned in response to his words.

"Returning a patient…?" She asked, obviously confused. Yusuke 'subtly' shifted the bloody and unconscious male in his arms, drawing the receptionist's eyes down to land upon the precious treasure he held. Her dark brown eyes widened and she gasped in surprise. Clumsily she pulled the microphone on her desk over to her, calling desperately for Doctor Lee over the loudspeaker. Yusuke didn't even bother to spare the woman behind the desk another glance, he walked purposefully over to the seats in the middle of the room where other patients waited to be seen and sat down, carefully arranging Hiei comfortably in his lap. Too busy with the limp form of his boyfriend he didn't see his friend's approach but he heard them sit down in the chairs on either side of him. He paid them no attention and instead, without realizing what he was doing, he reached a hand up and ran it through the sleeping demon's raven locks. He watched, mesmerized, as the youkai relaxed further under his ministrations and snuggled into his shirt. The sight was positively adorable. A small chuckle escaped Yusuke's throat and rumbled through his chest. He didn't even notice the confused grey and amused emerald gazes of his friends as they watched silently.

The moment was quickly lost however as the loud screeching of sneakers on polished floor met their ears. Yusuke tore his chocolate orbs from the beauty in his arms and looked up to see the kind faced Doctor Lee rushing into the room.

"Wait here for a minute." The hanyou told the two red heads beside him before getting to his feet and intercepting the doctor as the brunette walked towards the grumpy receptionist. He came up beside the older man, the doctor's ice blue eyes widening as they landed on the disheveled youth.

"Hey man." Yusuke greeted with a small smile. Doctor Lee didn't reply. He stared down at the too pale man in Yusuke's strong tan arms with a hard, calculating expression on his face.

"What happened?" He asked finally, returning his gaze to Yusuke.

"When he…when he ran away he ripped his stitches and he's lost a quite a bit of blood." The detective explained, repeating the same words he had spoken to his distraught friend's no more than ten minutes ago. Doctor Lee nodded, calming somewhat.

"May I?" He queried, gesturing to Hiei's blood soaked tank. It took a second for what the other male truly meant to sink into Yusuke's overstressed brain.

"Huh? Oh, of course!" He said shaking his head at his own stupidity. Ever so gently he moved so the small body he held in his arms out so it was away from his own. The brunette spared the hanyou a teasing smile as he noticed Hiei's fist still bunched in Yusuke's white t-shirt. Yusuke blushed but his embarrassment quickly faded. He watched with unmatched focus as the doctor lifted up the drenched piece of clothing and examined the fire demon's wound, his long thin fingers prodding the stained skin around the injury gently. After a minute he straightened, pulling back he smiled into the semi-worried hanyou.

"What you said is correct. The stitches were pulled, more than likely by strenuous physical activity, causing the reopening of the wound. The good news is that the wound is clean and the bleeding has almost completely stopped. We may be able to get away with simply re-sewing the wound but I believe it would be for the best to get Hiei another transfusion rather than risk his health anymore." The doctor said. Yusuke felt the small knot of doubt and fear that had been sitting in his stomach up until that moment finally melt away with the heartwarming news. Hiei, _his Hiei_, was going to be alright! Truthfully, he'd already known that the small demon would be okay (after all what was a little blood loss to the great Jaganshi?) but it hadn't stopped the concern that had wormed its way into his heart. _I guess it comes with the territory_, the young man thought wryly.

"-bring a stretcher and prepare room 218 with some B positive and bring a needle and some sutures too…Thanks." Doctor Lee's voice invaded his thoughts and he looked up from the unconscious form of his boyfriend just in time to see the surgeon snap a phone shut. He shot the older man a questioning look.

"I was just preparing things for Hiei's treatment." The brunette explained.

"Thanks…for everything." Yusuke said, allowing his sincerity to shine through his brown eyes. Doctor Lee smiled gently.

"You don't need to thank me Yusuke. I'm just glad everything worked out in the end."

"_More than you know…_" Yusuke whispered to himself, staring down at the hiyoukai in his arms.

A loud rattling echoed through to the waiting room from one of the many hallways and the doctor turned to the young hanyou once more.

"That sounds like our patient's ride now. We'll be taking Hiei back up to his room for the small procedure so you and your friends are more than welcome to come up and keep vigil by his bedside until the end of visiting hours." Yusuke looked up from the limp form of his team mate with an indignant expression rapidly spreading across his face. "Except for you of course. You can stay overnight again if you so wish it." The tall brunette cut in quickly with a chuckle. Relief took precedence within the youth once more and he nodded with a small crooked smile.

Two men wearing the hospital's uniform green scrubs rattled up to the pair, a stretcher between them. Yusuke hesitantly placed Hiei on the stretcher and watched with a twinge of sadness as the youkai was wheeled away. It seemed strange but he already missed the smaller man's weight in his arms and his hands itched to run after the interns and snatch his love off the hard mattress and back into his embrace. His mind was pulled back to his self as Doctor Lee's heavy hand landed upon his own muscular shoulder, giving it a firm, comforting squeeze. His chocolate eyes met pride-filled ice blue before the doctor whisked off down the hall after the wounded demon.

With a sigh Yusuke turned on his heel and walked back over to where his friends sat waiting amidst the people in the crowded waiting room. As the two red heads noticed him approach they rose from their seats, staring at him expectantly. He spared the pair a weary smile and ran a hand through his already mussed up raven locks.

"Hiei'll be fine. They're taking him up to his room to fix him up and we can go up whenever we're ready."

Kurama beamed at the excellent news and Kuwabara whooped loudly, once again earning him dark looks from many of the humans in the room.

Yusuke couldn't help but laugh as the last of his tension dissolved. The nightmare was finally over…_Everything was going to be okay._

* * *

Waking up was never something Hiei enjoyed. He hated the few moments of disorientation between when consciousness first draped its cold, ghostly arms around your mind and when you actually woke up. Those few minutes where you held no memory and no feeling of self. Where there was naught but dreams and warmth that slowly slipped further and further from your desperately reaching grasp.

So it was natural that when the youkai first once more felt the comforting darkness of unconsciousness recede from him he urgently clung to the last tendrils that lingered. But as they always did, they slipped through the fingers of his soul and he slowly awoke, becoming aware of his surroundings. A low murmuring that had until then been nothing more than an annoying drone sluggishly morphed into unfamiliar voices. The raven haired man's brow furrowed ever so slightly and a frown pulled at his lips as the voices became understandable words.

"-ake, please take these to go get washed. Greg, would you return these unneeded sutures to their appropriate home? Thank you." The first voice spoke quietly, calmly. The male's request was followed by the loud clack of footsteps on man-made floor and a second voice that joined the first.

"No problem Doctor Lee. Need anything else?" The other, obviously younger male asked with a strange drawl.

_Doctor?_ Hiei's mind searched frantically for an explanation.

"No I'm fine now." The older male, obviously 'Doctor Lee' said. "I know you have plans for tonight so you two go and have fun. I'll see you tomorrow." There were murmured "thank you's" followed by more footsteps and the click of a closing door.

_Doctor? _The somewhat addled fire demon racked his brain desperately. _Why do I feel so heavy? Am I tied down? Have I been taken prisoner during some emergency mission gone wrong?_ Hiei squashed the slight anxiety that began to stir at the thought and forced himself to focus. _If I've been captured then what of Yusuke and the othe-_ Suddenly it all came rushing back, like a dam being opened after a heavy downpour. His own attempted suicide, Yusuke's timely rescue, the fight, the confession, the kiss-

"_HELL_!" The curse burst from the previously silent demon's lips loudly and Hiei shot up, his crimson eyes wide. The raven haired man didn't notice the doctor seated beside the bed nor the way he jumped as his supposedly sleeping patient sat up as suddenly as if he had been a bullet being shot from a gun.

Hiei's almond shaped eyes were unfocused as his fingertips gently brushed his lips bringing forth an unbidden whisper.

"_Yusuke…_" The smallest of smiles spread across the youkai's generally apathetic face as the memory of the hanyou's words poured into his ears like warm honey. _'I love you too.'_

"Hiei? Are you alright?" The query came from his left and brought the love struck man from his reverie. Hiei stiffened, bracing himself for a fight and turned his sharp-as-daggers glare onto the brunette beside the bed. His battle-sharpened mind took in the tall, haggard male from his double-knotted sneakers, blue scrubs and white lab coat to his short chestnut hair and concerned expression. The man, whom he assumed was the Doctor Lee he'd heard before, didn't seem to be a threat. He held no weapon, his posture was non-menacing if a little nervous and his overall appearance just seemed weary. Finally, satisfied that the surgeon was not going to try anything the shorter man allowed his ruby gaze to wander. His eyes traversed the small white room with its grey linoleum floor and generally empty spaces without missing a thing. A pot plant in the corner, an unoccupied chair with tearing padding near the end of the bed, a tall thin cupboard on the right side between the bed and the wall…

_This is the same room as before_, Hiei thought. A slight cough returned his attention to the man still seated by the bedside.

"Hiei, are you alright?" He asked, his blue eyes full of worry. The demon in question frowned, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"How do you know my name?" He growled, tension flooding his system once more. The doctor held up his hands, trying to calm the injured young man.

"Your friend Yusuke told me." The simple mention of the hanyou's name had an immediate effect on the dark haired man, allowing calm to wash over him and warmth to spread through his body. Hiei almost blushed at how easily just the mere mention of his love's name in passing conversation riled him up. Mentally he shook himself. Just as he was going to ask of his boyfriend's whereabouts the doctor continued.

"Your friends are downstairs as far as I know. I just finished re-sewing your wound before you awoke so I imagine they should be coming along very shortly." Hiei pulled aside the unflattering hospital gown to see a small series of clear stitches where before there had been a gaping hole in his abdomen.

A chuckle escaped the brunette as he watched the other man inspect his handiwork. It was strange seeing someone who appeared to be so young examining a serious wound with such an expert eye. He saw the door opening from the corner of his eye and turned expectantly to greet the room's most recent occupant.

* * *

Yusuke's heart pounded as the smooth metal of the door handle cooled his calloused palm. He didn't know why but his heart was in his throat choking him with every beat. It was stupid, he knew, to be so anxious about what awaited him on the other side of the plain, moss green door. But…He and Hiei hadn't really had much of a chance to talk after their confessions of love and he couldn't help the twinge of fear. Fear that maybe the fiery little youkai would change his mind, that he would run away from him again. He could feel his two red headed friends' questioning gazes on his back and knew he couldn't stall any longer. The dark haired youth swallowed nervously, forcing his heart back into his chest. Steeling himself he turned the knob and quietly stepped into the all too familiar room. His amber brown eyes scanned the small depressing room until they landed on the raven haired demon on the bed. Instantly all his worries melted away as ruby red rose to meet his own chocolate. He needn't have ever feared. In those beautiful eyes he saw a spark of recognition that morphed into happiness and love. In those eyes that he loved more than anything else he saw himself…And more than that he saw a future. Oh he knew that it would be a difficult path and the two would likely clash a number of times but in the end it would be worth it. Hiei was worth it. And looking at Hiei now…he could see the other man felt the same way.

"Hello again Yusuke, Kazuma, Shuichi." Doctor Lee greeted, rising from his place next to his very awake patient. There was a chorus of "hey's" as the ragtag group piled into the room.

"As you can see Hiei's all stitched up again and we've given him some blood to help him onto the road of recovery. Assuming there are no more accidents he should be fine to leave by the end of the week." The brunette said with a fond glare at the two dark haired males. Yusuke had the decency to look mildly abashed at the half-hearted reprimand.

"Hn." Hiei replied with a rather snobbish glare.

"Well I'll leave you boys to catch up. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on you, Hiei." With one last nod the doctor took his leave, the door clicking shut behind him.

The silence that filled the room in the doctor's absence was an awkward one. No one knew where to start, what to say, although it was painfully clear that there was much to be said.

The seconds crawled into minutes yet still quiet dominated the team of friends. It was a shock to everyone when it was Hiei's quiet deep voice that pierced the silence.

"…_I'm sorry_." He mumbled, staring intently at the blankets covering his lap. "I…I didn't mean to…hurt everyone…" The words came out slow and jarring. Yusuke felt his heart go out to the small demon. He doubted sharing his feelings and apologizing was something he did often and it was obviously hard for him. The hanyou strode over and sat down on the bed next to Hiei. Hiei's ruby eyes rose to peer at him in both trepidation and hope.

_Those eyes will be the death of me_, Yusuke thought, smiling down at the man he loved. His arm reached out and crushed the smaller male to his chest. At first he felt Hiei tense up but just as suddenly the spikey haired man melted into the embrace. Yusuke's heart swelled in his chest when his boyfriend's arms hesitantly wrapped around him in return. The two stayed like that for a moment, oblivious to the confused and triumphant looks of their friends. Finally Yusuke pulled in a shuddering breath.

"I forgive you, Hiei." He whispered. Small but strong hands gripped him tighter in response. "…_But_…you have to promise me something…" Hiei shifted in his hold, pulling back to stare up at him with an inquisitive crimson gaze.

"What's that?" He asked, his head cocking to the side ever so slightly. The dark haired youth smiled once more.

"You have to promise me…that you will _never_ ever scare me like that again!" He said with a heavy sigh that dissolved into a deep chuckle. "Cause seriously, I don't think my poor heart could take it!" To his surprise Hiei burst into laughter. Not just a scoff or a snigger but full blown laughter. It was like music to the half-demon's ears, rich and melodious.

"I promise." Hiei swore, a true smile settling on his lips. Yusuke felt his own smile grow even wider.

"_Good_." And nothing more needed to be said. Sure there was a lot of pain and baggage to sort through but it could wait. He leant down and captured the other man's said lips with his own, pouring all his gratitude and his love into that single action.

Hiei almost gasped as the intense emotions in the kiss threatened to overwhelm him. It still shocked him that someone like Yusuke could actually want someone like him but he no longer questioned it. He drew his hands up to clutch at short, un-gelled raven locks as he kissed back with all his might. In the background he could hear Kurama's amused snort and Kuwabara's confused rambling. And for once he didn't give a shit.

* * *

Hiei gave a contented sigh as pulled on his black boot, completing his change into his usual ensemble of black pants and a black tank top. He'd never cared much for clothing before; it was little more than a necessity. Now after several days spent in a flimsy and frankly unflattering hospital gown he found himself appreciating the comfort and support the garments offered him. The hospital room door clicked open and Yusuke walked in, smiling as he spotted the fire demon on the bed.

"Hey, you ready to get the fuck outta here?" The hanyou asked with a knowing smirk. Hiei snorted.

"I was ready to leave a long time ago if I remember correctly." He grumbled with a pointed look at the detective. The accused rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Yeah, okay I deserved that. But it was for the best." Hiei ignored his boyfriend and rose from his seat. He strode passed the other man without so much as a glance and continued down to the exit. He couldn't suppress the sadistic smirk that made itself home on his lips as Yusuke's whining apologies cut through the otherwise quiet drone of the hospital.

"_C'mon_ Hiei! You know I didn't mean anything by it!" The youth called after him, gaining him numerous glares from patrons and staff alike. Hiei continued to ignore him until he finally stepped through the large automatic doors and out of the infernal medical center. Outside their two red haired friends stood waiting for them. The pair smiled warmly at the hiyoukai as he joined them. The youko held something long and thin out to him.

"My sword?" Hiei said, a questioning lilt in his voice. He reached out a calloused hand took the hilt into his grasp. It was a strange feeling holding the blade in his hand once more. Emerald eyes caught his own ruby in a knowing gaze.

"It would have been confiscated so I took it home and kept it safe for you. Regardless of how you use it, it's yours and it's a part of you." He explained. Hiei nodded his gratitude and turned to sneer at the spirit detective who was only just exiting the building behind them.

"What took you so long?" He asked, barely holding back a snicker. The taller man threw back his head with an annoyed snort.

"I got caught by Doctor Lee one last time. I swear that guy never stops." He complained loudly, taking his place by Hiei's side. Kuwabara laughed at his friend's misfortune, earning him a dark look from the hanyou.

"I assume you will be taking Hiei home now then?" Kurama asked, his silken voice cutting the two best friends bickering short. Yusuke nodded.

"Yeah, though it was hard work getting Hiei to agree to it, I'll tell ya!" He chuckled as Hiei took a swipe at him and pulled the little demon into a hug.

"If you want I can give you a lift. Mother's been lending me her car since the start of this whole ordeal." The red head offered with a flourish in the direction of the car park.

"Thanks, but we're good." Yusuke said. Hiei turned to look at him inquisitively but was distracted as he was literally swept off his feet by a pair of strong, tan arms. The fiery youkai let out an indignant squawk.

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled in his boyfriend's ear, causing the other man to wince.

"I'm taking you home." He said as if it were obvious. "And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk _all that way_ in your condition?" Hiei was thrown off. He blushed as he remembered the last time Yusuke has said those words to him after their confession in the park.

"_Fine_. But don't get used to this." He grumbled, unable to keep the smile that threatened to spread across his face from lifting the corners of his mouth just so. Yusuke chuckled.

"Wouldn't dream of it, love. _Wouldn't dream of it_." With a curt nod and a wink at their friends Yusuke turned on his heel and started them off towards home. He knew they had a long road ahead of them. But he also knew they could do it…_together_…

...

* * *

_End._

* * *

_...  
_

_'Got a baby girl sleeping in my bedroom  
And her mama laughing in my arms  
There's the sound of rain on the rooftop  
And the game's about to start,_

_I don't really know how I got here_  
_But I'm sure glad that I did_  
_And it's crazy to think that one little thing_  
_Could've changed all of it._

_Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned_  
_Maybe that's why I'm such, such a lucky man!_

_For every stoplight I didn't make_  
_Every chance I did or I didn't take_  
_All the nights I went too far_  
_All the girls that broke my heart_  
_All the doors that I had to close_  
_All the things I knew but I didn't know_  
_Thank God for all I missed_  
_Cause it led me here to this!_

_Like the girl that I loved in high school_  
_Who said she could do better_  
_Or that college I wanted to go to_  
_'Til I got that letter._

_All the fights and the tears and the heartache_  
_I thought I'd never get through_  
_And the moment I almost gave up_  
_All lead me here to you._

_I didn't understand it way back when_  
_But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense._

_For every stoplight I didn't make_  
_Every chance I did or I didn't take_  
_All the nights I went too far_  
_All the girls that broke my heart_  
_All the doors that I had to close_  
_All the things I knew but I didn't know_  
_Thank God for all I missed_  
_Cause it led me here to this!_

_How I cried when my mama passed away_  
_But now I've got an angel looking out for me today_  
_So nothing's a mistake_

_For every stoplight I didn't make_  
_Every chance I did or I didn't take_  
_All the nights I went too far_  
_All the girls that broke my heart_  
_All the doors that I had to close_  
_All the things I knew but I didn't know_  
_Thank God for all I missed_  
_Cause it led me here to this!_

_It led me here to this!'_

_This by Darius Rucker._

_..._

* * *

It's FINALLY DONE! HA! After months and months, I have finally finished my longest and possibly my most angst-riddled story ever! I'm proud of myself. =)

I really hope everyone enjoyed the story, and please review, tell me what you thought, what could have used improving. I always appreciate feedback...Well except for flames against the pairing and stuff like that. =P

I've really enjoyed coming on this journey with the lot of you and I hope to hear from you's again in some of my future stories. Thanks all!

_**Oh, and in case you didn't read the top part of my ramble: I've posted a poll asking everyone which plot bunny they'd like to read most for my next story. There's also the option of two different sequels for this story. No guarantees that I'll write the winner first but I'd just like to get everyone's opinion on the matter. So if you're interested check it out on my profile page!**  
_


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